fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6410 ]

[ SECRET POST #6410 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6410 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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(Atop The Fourth Wall)

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 23 secrets from Secret Submission Post #916.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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03. https://i.imgur.com/dHcQvG5.jpeg

Time to not give a shit.

Easier said than done.

The time will pass anyway. Might as well get started.

On dying?

I mean yeah, it is a good philosphy to aim for I just get frustrated when people say it like it is such an easy solution.

That is actually one of the very real perks of getting older. You really do care a lot less about what random people think of you. It's a blessing. Be patient and work on getting there - it's very worth it.

Especially because the Youth(TM) saying this shit are going to have a huge wake up call sooner than they'd like. Unless you die, getting older comes for us all.

I do want to speak up and say they're not all like that. I have a couple of people in their early 20s following me on tumblr and they know I'm deep into my 30s and it doesn't matter. Obviously I'm not trying to get to know them beyond "mutuals who blogs stupid shit on tumblr with occasional supportive comments if personal stuff comes up" but they often reblog my responses to stuff about age in fandom that suggests they prefer the idea that you don't just forget everything you like after some arbitrary birthday.

This is absolutely true and it's well said.

OTOH, I have absolutely come across people in one of my fandoms screaming about "creepy old hags sexualizing the actors" when the actors are in their 50s. I'm also in my 50s. I'm a little bit older than one of them and a little bit younger than the other. It is actually WAY more age-appropriate for me to be sexualizing them than a 20-year-old, if you care about policing such things.

It's so clear that ageism interacts with misogyny. Older men can be objects or agents of desire but women the same age are disgusting if they don't disavow sexuality and willingly fade into the mommy/grandma role.

Is the fandom Good Omens? Because I haven’t seen this exact thing but it's the same brand of nonsense that put me off the fandom after the show came out.

You're so right unfortunately. The weirdest thing for me is seeing late teens/early 20s people lusting after mid-40s Marvel actors when I'm more "age appropriate" in my late 30s but the idea of a woman in her late 30s being hot for whichever Marvel dude sometimes gets "go do your taxes Grandma!" style responses.

There's arseholes in every age group though, it's just really sad seeing young women fall into the trap of acting like sexuality ceases after a certain age as though they'll be young forever and not getting the same treatment eventually. I did have a brief Pick Me/Not Like Other Girls phase though when I was younger so I do know it's hard to resist that sometimes.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2024-07-25 12:21 (UTC) - Expand

I feel this.

I feel like my 20s was the only time I was fine sharing my age. I mean in general I don't care too much now but yeah, in specific fandom spaces I do get a little squirrelly about it.

Sorry you've had bad luck, OP. I've always managed a mix of young to older, though I get too - in recent times, I've had to distance myself in fandom because I've lost touch with older fan friends but my fandoms continue attracting the younger crowd.

Call them ageist.
1) Because they are.
2) Some may argue, but some may actually leave because even when they are prejudiced, people don't like being called the completely accurate label for it.
3) Someone could think about it, conclude that they have been in the wrong and try to change their way of thinking, and thus you have made the world a better place for them and the people they interact with.

Easy way to tell if someone in fandom is ageist:

Do they shame older fans for being in the fandom while stanning actors and characters the same age or older?

If yes, then they are.

Oh I feel this OP. One of my early fandoms on LJ hated kids and would pretty much bully them out the community if they found out.
And although it hasn't been a problem for me in my very recent fandoms; back during 2020 I got really into a fandom that was largely popular with teenagers and people who were certainly at least under 25 at the time. I was creating fan works for the community but kept distant because I didn't want to get involved - mainly because they would either accuse 'adults' in their spaces as creeps or had some really mind-numbing drama going on with demands for people to vocally take a side.

Spent a few years in my own isolated sandbox while keeping the option to message me permanently off.

This comm is the only place I felt like a "baby fan" (in a neutral way) and not some creepy old maid in the wrong place. I'm not even old, I'm 32. I can get not wanting minors or at least under 16s around if it's a mature canon/fanworks, but what's with "over 25" being the new boogeyman for the last decade?

I suspect it is because of the scientific finding that the human brain fully develops at 25 (which is bullshit and quoted out of context... the brain can keep developing after 25). IMO some folks ran with it and went too far.

AYRT - Ironically, I never heard about that claim until I was 28. Looked it up, the evidence is shaky to boot. Even if it was true, having "a fully developed brain" doesn't make you an inherent weirdo if you still have hobbies. These people will be 25 sooner than they think, and the goalposts will be raised to 30, 35, etc.

That bullshit study actually STOPPED at 25. It made no claim to tracking brain development and changes after that, because they did not study anyone older.

My problem is with the “age in bio” people. I once saw one of them freak out at the possibility of being followed by someone 17 years and 11 months old. Not joking.

Fans who do this are obnoxious and tiresome, but tbh, I don't really understand why anyone gives a fuck what they think. They're teenagers. They lack perspective. I will take a teenager with cool ideas and sensible opinions seriously, but otherwise? Lol, it's honestly cute that they think I, a grown-up, GAF.

Time to stop thinking what teenagers think about you. Block unsubscribe blacklist whatever for this.
Yes, it's difficult not to be affected, we are social creatures. But that is children. You are affected by children.

When you're a minor, it's basic safety to not post your age online. I get so stressed out on kids' behalf when I see 15 in a Twitter bio. Like, were you not told that's not safe? Your parents failed you if that's the case. You're not warding off predators, you're attracting them, and do you seriously think everyone you interact with who has a teen age in their profile is telling the TRUTH about that? Child...

I wear my Gen X age like poison frog colors proudly. I don't want ageists following me so I make sure to post the occasional Kurt Cobain meme or stuff about my actual living memories of the late Reagan administration. (I was never quite old enough to vote against him, but I would have. MONDALE WHOO)

There will always be people older/younger than you in any fandom. If the kids are bothering you, make a space for fandom olds and keep them out. Or make an all-ages space where that kind of talk is banned.

I've been lucky in my experiences, because I've always known a lot of fannish people IRL who were my age; I also knew someone IRL who was 60 and wrote novel-length fanfiction that she posted on fansites with other women her age (as well as people younger/older). I was lucky that in one of my big fandoms as a young adult, there was someone who admitted she was always the "baby" in every fandom and frequently had to lie about her age, as well as someone in her 30s, a mom with two kids, and both were completely welcomed. The older people were aspirational for us younger folks, and the older folks always appreciated the younger folks' talent and encouraged them to develop it further.

Fandom is for every age. Find yourself a community that respects that fact!

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