[ SECRET POST #6445 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6445 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 13 secrets from Secret Submission Post #921.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

DA
Yeah and it would be cool to go to a fucking asexual place without someone declaring how we are not real asexuals because we sometimes enjoy sex or do not enjoy it but want to discuss it without expectations of allos.
You are gatekeeping your own community. Not cool

[(Anonymous)]

DA but if you keep going into asexual spaces to contantly talk about you having sex all the damn time I can tell you're an insufferably annoying person at least.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT didn't say anything about constantly, calm down.

[(Anonymous)]

"Yeah and it would be cool to go to a fucking asexual place without someone declaring how we are not real asexuals because we sometimes enjoy sex or do not enjoy it but want to discuss it without expectations of allos."

Why do you want to call yourself asexual if you enjoy sex? What "expectations of allos" are there? That you might want sex less often than them? That you're not as sexually adventurous as them? I really don't know what expectations you're talking about that aren't just normal variations in sexuality. None of that makes someone asexual.

It's way more likely for an asexual person to go into an asexual place, thinking "oh, hey, here's a place that will finally understand me!" and talk about how they don't like sex, they are sick of society being so consumed with sex and be told "oh, but some of us really love sex!" and then that lead into a conversation by a bunch of supposedly asexual people going on about how great sex is. That's a conversation that can happen literally anywhere. Asexual communities are somewhere you should be able to escape that kind of thing.

If it's gatekeeping, so be it. Maybe asexuals who like sex should start their own community, because that was not the original purpose of the asexual community and they have taken over it.

[(Anonymous)]

Why do you want to call yourself asexual if you enjoy sex?

The difference between sex drive and sexual attraction to others has been explained so many times in practically every discussion about asexuality that if you still don't know the answer, you don't really want to. You're just sealioning with that question.

[(Anonymous)]

Ah yes, The Sexuals(TM) who see a specific person and can't stop themselves from getting aroused in public. If you don't experience that, you must of course be ace.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, they act like there's not a wide range within allosexuals and that anyone who's not hypersexual must be asexual, but that's not how it works.

[(Anonymous)]

As someone who is active in asexual spaces, while I assume you are not: literally nobody does this anymore. You're describing something that went out of fashion at least 10 years ago. On the random occasion that one does this now, they get a talking-to from everyone else. It was popular behavior back when asexuality first went semi-mainstream, but people learned better because of, gasp, education about what asexuality actually is -- something that you, ironically, seem to want swept under the rug, even though it benefits you as an allo as well.

[(Anonymous)]

I am not allo, I'm asexual, and you're right, I'm not super active in asexual spaces currently because I got tired of that behavior. But I've seen it as recently as a couple months ago, not ten years. It's good to know there are some places where it doesn't happen. And I don't know how I'm wanting to sweep education of asexuality under the rug when I'm trying to point out what asexual originally meant. If people that love sex want to call themselves asexual, ok, fine, I don't understand why, but I'll give you that. But it shouldn't be the default and there are plenty of places where people act like it is.

[(Anonymous)]

It hasn't been explained to me. I have asked multiple times in various conversations and have never gotten a definition that isn't circular.

I'm not sealioning or trolling or anything, I'm just an asexual person who is very frustrated that I can hardly ever go into asexual spaces and share my frustrations and mention not liking sex without getting tons of "but some asexuals love sex!!!!" comments.

[(Anonymous)]

Can ya'll just... make, specificaly, a sex-repulsed ace space, advertise it as such, and gatekeep THAT instead of the general ace experience/space? I mean this as seriously as possible. It just seems like a hassle having to go back and forth with people when the option of an exclusive space can exist and there's nothing wrong with it?

I'm a sex-neutral ace myself. I don't really care one way or the other- I'm even indifferent to masturbation. But sometimes the body wants what the body wants *shrug*. I'd fit in any ace space because I don't really make my sexual urges (or lack thereof) my entire ace personality. I don't experience sexual attraction to people and I've got a low sex drive (low key repulsed sometimes just thinking of the mess that's involved, *ew*).

[(Anonymous)]

It just seems like a hassle having to go back and forth with people

There wouldn't be any hassle or back and forth if people weren't so terrified of being accused of being gatekeepers and kept the original intention of the asexual community. The people who love sex/graysexuals/demisexuals/etc. should make THEIR own community. We were here first.

I don't really make my sexual urges (or lack thereof) my entire ace personality.

People who want asexual spaces to be for actual asexual people aren't "making it their entire personality", we just want to have one space that's actually for us. The people who love sex can fit in with the entire rest of society.

[(Anonymous)]

Fuck off, gatekeeper :)

Sincerely,
A sex-repulsed ace

[(Anonymous)]

What an intelligent, mature, well-reasoned response.

[(Anonymous)]

There is one, on Reddit, and it gets non-stop criticism claiming the people that post there are horrible, toxic assholes even though that perception is not correct. The amount of posts I've seen from people saying "I've heard what jerks y'all are, but I'm actually surprised how nice this community is!" is kind of a lot, but that's the reputation it has. Sometimes you just can't win.