[ SECRET POST #6454 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6454 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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02. [WARNING for discussion of ableism]




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03. [WARNING for discussion of violence/gore/RL death]




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04. [WARNING for discussion of transphobia]




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05. [WARNING for discussion of transphobia]




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06. [WARNING for discussion of transphobia]

[Dr. Becky/YouTube]



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07. [WARNING for discussion of incest]





















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #922.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

02. [WARNING for discussion of ableism]
https://i.imgur.com/8HpOmhx.png

[(Anonymous)]

Oh that is a sucky situation. Your friend definitely over estimates their limits and isn't helping by cancelling so last minute. It sucks that they have a health issue that interferes so much with their life, but it isn't the groups fault and I totally understand dropping them.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, agreed with this secret. As someone who also has a limited number of spoons, being in denial about it and committing to more than you can handle is one of the issues you have to face. There's no getting around it - you HAVE to prioritize, or you're going to end up exhausted, disappointed and you're going to frustrate everyone who has to deal with you and your denial.

It's pretty shitty of your ex-friend to accuse people of ableism rather than taking responsibility for her own health and tendency to overestimate herself.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, as someone with chronic health issues, this. Sometimes you have to be realistic and admit that you just don't have the ability to commit to things no matter how much you may want to do them.

[(Anonymous)]

I've definitely had situations where my own wishful thinking/denial overcame better judgment and I thought I could do more than I actually could. But I really hate letting people down, so I'm very, very cautious about what I'll commit to and I usually let people know if there's a risk that I'll have to back out. I certainly wouldn't do it on short notice if I could help it.

[sabotabby]

Oh, I can relate on both sides. Nearly everyone in my old gaming group is one kind of spoonie or another (including me) and it basically fell apart because we all bit off more than we could chew. Whereas my current gaming group is also more spoonie than not but we make an effort to work around this in terms of planning. It's hard but it's doable.

[(Anonymous)]

I had this when I was GMing, I even set it up so they could play using skype. They still kept flaking.

[(Anonymous)]

Nah, this is ableism. There are plenty of accommodations available. Two my group had used are 1) the person plays a character that can be intermittent, ie not so integral to the balance of the party that it would greatly affect the outcome, or 2) you can’t make it, someone else plays your character along with their own that session.
*shrug* We’ve had two members with cancer and made it work because we cared about them. You’d have figured something out if you actually wanted this person to continue to be in the group.

[(Anonymous)]

Flip that script around. The person would have talked to them and figured out a way to make it work if they really wanted to play, instead they just keep screwing over the whole party.

[(Anonymous)]

Having a disability or illness doesn't mean you get to continually screw over other people, and that they have to just put up with it.

It's possible to be both disabled and a selfish jerk. I feel pity for your loved ones that you don't understand this. I can easily see you pushing them around and taking advantage of them, and thinking you're Oppressed when they don't want to deal with your ass anymore.

[(Anonymous)]

Those are both situations where the alternatives were discussed and planned for by all parties, including the absent player. That's not the same as a player committing and then cancelling repeatedly.

[(Anonymous)]

You mean toss them a sympathy party adventure? Kinda patronizing, don't you think.

[(Anonymous)]

Nah, it's not. Their condition is not their fault, but it is their responsibility.