[ SECRET POST #6469 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6469 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #925.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Seats as surfaces

[(Anonymous)]

+1

Tbh my partner and I both had very bad chore keeping habits when we first got together and still aren't great about some things. Being able to communicate about it openly and without anger was really important for improving the situation. It helped a lot to be able to say things without sugarcoating it and without getting disrespectful. The dynamic of ignoring things that bother you and your partner expecting to be taken care of can be extremely damaging to a relationship, especially in the all too common situation of a woman doing far more work than a man, as anon above me described. I've seen a lot of relationships fall apart from a husband's entitlement towards his wife's hard work.

I get really angry sometimes about things like my partner forgetting a chore when I am actually upset about other stuff or feeling like our relationship dynamic has been too heavy on my end for a minute (like when I am taking a bigger burden emotionally, financially or physically with our shared responsibility for whatever reason). Typically this can be resolved or we can talk through the frustration of being in a situation where one person has to take care of more things for a bit, she does it for me and I do it for her when the time comes. Do you feel your partner isn't pulling his weight in other areas, or you are having to "look after" him more than you want to? Does your partner not tolerate it when you have quirks that irritate him, but expect you to work around his preferences even when they bother you? Are there chores you dislike that he always comes through on doing or are you always the one to get things done?

It sounds off to me when you say you worked on yourself to improve areas he had criticisms of you on, while he didn't do the same, and implied that he uses sexist language or ideas to put you down. It sounded like he may be disrespectful to you. idk if you were just venting and being hyperbolic but that attitude would definitely bug me. You sound very resentful and honestly, like it may be for good reason. I hope you guys can move past this and his attitude towards you can change, truly wishing you the best. Having this resentment between you is definitely not good for your relationship, trying to work through it whether the relationship succeeds or fails is better imo than staying in a state of frustration and disrespect.