case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2024-12-08 03:37 pm

[ SECRET POST #6547 ]


⌈ Secret Post #6547 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Slay the Princess]














Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 32 secrets from Secret Submission Post #936.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2024-12-08 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes! Cheating is a hard limit for me. I can't stand it but it's so prevalent!

(Anonymous) 2024-12-08 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Same! It is a hard no for me and generally I will stop watching a show or at the very least stop liking the characters who cheat. I hate how acceptable it is to people.

(Anonymous) 2024-12-08 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)
This, amongst others, is one of the reasons I don't watch shows until they're over. I had Interview with the Vampire tv show on my list to watch once it was over, but learned there was cheating. Permanently scrubbed, bullet dodged.
feotakahari: (Default)

[personal profile] feotakahari 2024-12-08 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I haven’t actually seen that many shows with cheating plotlines. Maybe it’s a soap opera thing?

Then again, I haven’t seen many shows where anyone gets together before the finale.

(Anonymous) 2024-12-09 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
I've seen some profoundly stupid posts on tumblr about how cheating is ~one of the worst things you can do to someone~ and I'm annoyed so I'm gonna bitch about it on your post. Sorry. I will never be able to comprehend why people give a shit, unless they got an std from someone who cheated on them. Barring that specific scenario, it makes about as much sense to me as getting mad because your partner lied to you about what they had for dinner. I get that dishonesty sucks, but the actual thing you are mad about is not that bad and I don't understand why you care. I'm so glad I don't fuck with monogamous people.

(Anonymous) 2024-12-09 01:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow. There is an intense difference between being poly and cheating. And I say this as someone who isn't strictly monogomous. When you are poly, you parners know this. You negotiate. Everything is in the open. Cheating has none of that. You are lying to your partner, going outside the relationship without telling them and without any of the negotiation. You are seeking from someone else what you've told your partner you only want from them. Massive, massive difference.

(Anonymous) 2024-12-09 01:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I think because having sex is one of the (or the) most intimate physical acts you can do with another person, and while it can be purely physical there's still a very big risk of the people involved developing some kind of romantic feeling for each other.

Moreover, in a weird circle (don't know what image to use) because it's seen as a big betrayal in the first place, when someone cheats on their partner, they know how much it could impact them (their partner) due to how cheating is perceived, but if they still choose to go on for their own pleasure, it demonstrates their lack of care both for their partner and for the relationship.

So, that's my guess as to why cheating is seen as one of the worst betrayal in a relationship. And I'm speaking as someone who's aro-ace and thinks openned or polyamorous relationships should be more widely accepted, but I can have empathy (or is it sympathy?) for those who are not.

(Anonymous) 2024-12-09 02:29 pm (UTC)(link)
DUDE
>> it makes about as much sense to me as getting mad because your partner lied to you about what they had for dinner.
no, no it isn't. having sex with someone else and then lying about it is so much worse than lying about dinner. You really have to search for sex, it's not something that happens because whooops you fell on someone's dick or into someone's asshole/mouth/vagina. worse still for me is emotional cheating, but everyone's different.

also as a non monogamous person: do you talk with your partners? because I usually check on them and what/who they are doing just to know each other better and strengthen our bond. if they straight up lie about the sex they're having and actively hiding who they are having sex with then I'm going to feel betrayed. Like, why are we in a relationship again???
Like, poli people don't "cheat" when having sex with people outside their relationship. We have sex with other people but WE DON'T LIE ABOUT IT. That's the thing that distinguish us to monogamous people! It's all about honest communication.

now, if you are NOT in a relationship then you can't claim the other person is cheating on you and feel betrayed, on that I can agree. Single people can have sex with whomever, who cares.

(Anonymous) 2024-12-09 05:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I think all your partners need to get together and compare notes.

(Anonymous) 2024-12-09 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Um, breaking trust is a huge thing and breaking that trust by doing something some people consider to be a really important intimate thing with their monogamous partner is a whole new level. Just because you don't care about people lying to you doesn't mean it's an irrational thing for people to get upset about.

(Anonymous) 2024-12-09 11:44 am (UTC)(link)
It's easy to make a situation complicated between a couple.

Sometimes it works but a lot of times in media it's cliche and lazy.

Like the Cory and Topanga cheating plot. He kissed another girl and it lead to a long ass drama where Topanga breaks up with him and he spends a lot of time trying to get her to change her mind.

To a degree, it works, because they're high schoolers. But I recall even as a tween, it felt like that plotline dragged a lot and was bulked up to feel like a major betrayal when the cheating was Cory getting caught up in a moment and kissing another girl.

It's not the same as deciding to see the other girl behind Topanga's back, and he didn't push for anything beyond the kiss when he initially was flirting with the other girl.

Fidelity and the lines of trust being betrayed depending on the people and situation can be interesting, but often I feel like it's simplified in areas that are complex - and then unnecessarily convoluted in areas that should be easy to summize.

For dramatic reasons, it can work but often it's more or less the same old thing so it's used as a lazy shorthand to creatw tension between two/three characters.