[ SECRET POST #6562 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6562 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 31 secrets from Secret Submission Post #938.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Pre Christmas vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

My mother is making me feel bad that she has so few presents for me even though I keep telling her it's alright. But the thing is: she didn't really try? It's three small things I had on my amazon wishlist and I am perfectly fine with it. But if she'd really wanted to, she could have gotten me something else.
Both of my parents are super low effort when it comes to gift giving. My dad never doesn't anything without prompting (I have to get any presents he gives to my mother for him because he can't be arsed) and my mother pretends to not know my tastes and hobbies even though we live together. And I am actually okay with it but it frustrates me that she basically guilt trips me because she doesn't have and nice presents for me And feels bad about it now.

Re: Pre Christmas vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh my brother is like this. The rest of us keep saying we don't care that he doesn't give us gifts and he shouldn't feel bad receiving because we genuinely just like giving, but he still makes such a fuss about it and how he feels guilty not giving us anything. And it's just like, either make a minimal effort and buy a gift or get over yourself and stop making everything about you and sucking the joy out of gifting.

Re: Pre Christmas vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah this, exactly.

Re: Pre Christmas vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

That's super frustrating, nonny. And so insincere... she knows that she's being lazy and low-effort, but doesn't want to feel bad about it so she keeps trying to get you to absolve her. If she's already getting stuff off your Amazon wishlist, it's not that hard to just... buy more stuff? And to... be somewhat familiar with your own child's likes and dislikes?

I hope you're not putting much effort into gift-giving in return. Match their energy.

Re: Pre Christmas vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Nah, I enjoy giving gifts so I'd be shooting myself in the foot if I was less thoughtful. But yeah, one if her arguments is "I got you things in the past as a surprise and you didn't like them so I don't ~dare~ to do this again". Which makes me sound like some ungrateful greedy ass but it was literally things that either didn't fit me or were so far off my taste I just never used it, but I was always polite about it.
She keeps saying "I don't know what you like" and I'm like ...that's kind of sad because I know her style and taste and she knows the taste of all her friends but not the taste of her own daughter she lives in the same household with.

Re: Pre Christmas vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Wow. It's like she's looking for every possible excuse not to put any effort in. That's pathetic of her. You're a generous person for not calling her out and asking if she feels soooooooo bad about only buying you a few things, why doesn't she start shopping earlier and... buy more stuff? If she doesn't know your taste after so many years, why doesn't she ask or try to find out?

But you have to live with this sad excuse for a parent, so keeping the peace might be the best option. I hope you get her something nice and reaaaaaaally rub it in that you chose it because you know she likes X.

Re: Pre Christmas vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I love her dearly and she is very sweet otherwise - I do suspect that it's at least to some degree fairly strong undiagnosed/untreated adhd but it is pretty frustrating. It's not even the gifting itself but the way she makes me feel bad that she feels bad (guilt tripping is unfortunately a major issue in my family in general). Oh well, Christmas is fortunately only once a year.

Re: Pre Christmas vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I always tell everyone that I would like a surprise. Even if it's not something I absolutely like. I like surprises! Even if it's something

So of course most of my friends are "not good at presents" and ask for wishlist.
And my parents are the worst offenders. They just blatantly ask what do I need. And if I say "this thing". I have to go to a shop's site or whatever and FUCKING CHOOSE. Like I need to think what I want. And also I must do the worst part of the shopping when you are reading all reviews and try decide how fake they are.

Re: Pre Christmas vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, it's draining. When it's like that and you basically have to do all the legwork for the gift yourself, I'd actually prefer a card with some money/a gift coupon and I'll just get it myself- it's really not that different anymore.

Re: Pre Christmas vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly! But apparently I am so fucking mysterious that no one knows what kind of gift coupon I need 🤦

Also my mother is absolutely infuriating.
-What do you want as a gift?
-I need a regular pillow
-Maybe you need orthopedic seat cushion insteadnfor your back pain?
-Not really but okay, sure.
-I've opened some links, but I know nothing about cushions so please look at those links and make a choice.


Every fucking time

Re: Pre Christmas vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I love when they go "but money or a coupon is so impersonal". Yeah, so is basically doing everything to get the gift except the actual checkout process for you...