case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2025-01-22 07:09 pm

[ SECRET POST #6592 ]


⌈ Secret Post #6592 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 15 secrets from Secret Submission Post #942.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: An epiphany about my parents.

(Anonymous) 2025-01-23 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I disagree that they were abusive.

Re: An epiphany about my parents.

(Anonymous) 2025-01-23 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
They literally went so overboard with worrying about failure that they gave their child anxiety that has very much nearly ruined them at points. Yeah, that's abusive. I say this as someone abused myself--though to much more extreme behavior. (Literally being called worthless because I was disabled sure was a thing in my household.)

Re: An epiphany about my parents.

(Anonymous) 2025-01-23 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm the OP of this thread and I think... it's complicated. A lot of people think that abuse only means the extreme forms - physical assault, sexual assault, etc. Maybe extreme emotional abuse in the form of yelling and insults. My parents didn't do the first two, and were borderline for emotional abuse. They didn't always yell and get angry, but the phrase "you'll never amount to anything" was used a lot in my childhood. My parents were upset, frustrated and disappointed because they saw every small error or flaw as a sure sign that I'd fail in life. They took that to extremes, because in NO WAY does having a hairdo that's not perfect and sleek at all times mean that I'll grow up to look so sloppy and unprofessional that no one will ever hire me... but that's what they said, and I think their anxiety made them actually believe this. They criticized my weight, my skin, my overall appearance - a lot of things that I had very little control over as a kid.

It led to some pretty anxious, toxic, catastrophic thinking in adult me that is pretty dysfunctional, that I'm still struggling to overcome. If you look at the outcome, that childhood looks abusive, even if it wasn't the kind that would get my parents in trouble with CPS. As I said, they meant well. They had good intentions. But they made a lot of mistakes.