[ SECRET POST #6597 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6597 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 29 secrets from Secret Submission Post #943.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

sa

Also, I want to point out the distinction that the other commenter made. I'm not going to not be friends with someone because they used gay as an insult when they were 11 because they overheard another kid at school doing it, and later realized it wasn't right. If they're still doing it at 17, then yeah, I'm going to judge them and think that they're probably not a decent person.

[(Anonymous)]

That makes sense if they are currently 17 and still doing it right now.

If they are 27, learned better, and aren't doing it any more, and fail your purity test for being a "decent person" because of something that happened 10 years ago when they were 17, that's unreasonable and people are right to call it unreasonable. Like no, most people are not gonna drop a friend because some person from their old high school tells them they called someone a fag once, especially if the friend already openly admitted and apologized for it and changed their ways.

The original secret seems to point out that purity tests that go that far back leave zero room for anyone to change, and this thread is just proving that right.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Again, I say that 17 is old enough to know better. If you're okay with being friends with someone who thought it was acceptable to use slurs when they were only one year shy of being an adult, then that's your right.

Just as it's my right to have different standards. You can call it unreasonable if you want, but I personally think it's completely ridiculous to think that expecting people to not be homophobes or racists is apparently some impossibly high standard.

[(Anonymous)]

That's the thing. To most people, the 27 year old who is no longer homophobic... isn't a homophobe because they're not homophobic. They did something 10 years ago that was homophobic but are no longer like that. People who were once homophobic can change and become non bigots. This is wonderful and should be encouraged.

"One strike and you're impure" though means that you say a word once and you can never get better or be a decent person, and people changing for the better doesn't get acknowledged as a good thing. If you want to never acknowledge that, go on with your pure self I guess.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

I do not call myself or anyone else "pure" or "impure". Those are completely meaningless words.

Honestly, I don't know anyone who was shitty at 17 and a great person at 27. I used to give people the benefit of the doubt, but after giving people multiple chances to be better and being shown over and over and over and over again that they aren't any better...I don't really believe people honestly do change. Or if they do, it's rare enough that I've never seen it.

At this point I'm a strong believer in "when someone shows you who they are, believe them" because life is too short to put up with assholes. Maybe my view is unreasonable to you, but...I'm good with it.

[(Anonymous)]

If "I believe people cannot ever change" is the basis we're starting from, yeah this conversation has no purpose. Should've said that at the start and saved the effort, lol. It's good that you're good with it, because if you're not then change isn't possible, I guess? Idk, man. Hope it works out for you.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

It's worked out for me so far! Luckily there are enough good people out there that there's no need to put up with the bad ones. :)