fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6628 ]

[ SECRET POST #6628 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6628 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Doctor Who & Red Dwarf]

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[Yellowjackets]

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[Babylon 5]

Notes:

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Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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I'm currently being evaluated for autism and even I think this is too much pedantry. Most books historically have been consumed via audio. One person will read to a group, because books were expensive and there was sewing/carving/whatever to be done. The group being read to now knows what was in the book, the same as the person who used their eyes. Big whoop. Let it go.

Even twenty years ago when school kids would read a book aloud in class they’d say that they read Super Fudge in class. Not that they read part of it and listened to the rest of it. OP is just a snob and is trying to blame it on literalism.

OP

Even twenty years ago when school kids would read a book aloud in class they’d say that they read Super Fudge in class. Not that they read part of it and listened to the rest of it. OP is just a snob and is trying to blame it on literalism.

I absolutely said things like that as a kid. I'm not a snob, I've said multiple times that I don't judge anyone for listening to audiobooks. There's nothing wrong with it, hell, I've done it myself. But I've also said, when talking to friends about books, things along the lines of "I read Book 1 in Series X and listened to the audiobook of Book 2".

I always try to use exactly the right word for a situation, and try to choose my words carefully. When there's a situation where I could use two different words but maybe one has a slightly negative connotation and the other is more positive, I will think of which one is more appropriate in the situation and use that one.

I've always been like that, I blame my dad. There are times when I'm super tired or distracted with something and will say something wrong. Like "[My friend] is going to that restaurant we went to last month" on like April 3, when we went in February, and he will correct me that it's April now, so it wasn't last month, but the month before. Or I'll be at my parents' house for a holiday and say "I'm drinking that new tea you told me about, it's really good" and he'll say "I don't see it in your hand" so I'll have to amend it to "I was drinking it a couple minutes ago, I set it down in the living room and I'm going to go back and drink more as soon as I'm done helping Mom with X in the kitchen".

So I've always tried to make sure I say exactly the right words. I'm so used to it at this point that it bugs me when people say the wrong words.

This explains so much about your gripe. That kind of training from a parent is very difficult to break.
You’ll be happy to know that I do use words the way you prefer. For example, I am reading book X, and I am listening to book Y when I knit.

You are being extremely judgmental throughout this thread over other people’s word choices. You are being a snob. Being raised by your snobby father to pass judgement on other people based on the way that they speak because that’s how he treats you is an explanation. It doesn’t mean that when you behave that way you aren’t being a snob.

... I think you should seek therapy for that and I am saying it genuinely. Because you can't control other people and how they use words only yourself. And that is absolutely not normal parent behaviour. It's some fucking borderline abuse

OP

It's not abusive, that's fucking ridiculous.

I never tried to control what words other people use. I thought this was a vent thread, and I was venting about something that annoys me.

All I'm saying is that they're not the same. I've never said to anyone that they can't say they're the same thing. People can say inaccurate things all they want; they do it all the time. All I'm saying is that it annoys me when they do.

DA

I don't see why you're getting hung up on the definition of "read" when "book" is also right there. "Books" are things that are physical prints/writings on paper. Would you argue that someone who read something on the internet or on a tablet didn't read a book?

The point of language is to communicate. When people say they've read a book, they're communicating that they know what's in the book, not that they very definitely used their eyes to translate the markings on slivers of dead trees. The only time someone uses "read" to specifically and explicitly mean using the eyes is when they're looking down on audiobook listeners. And before you go on about how "read" doesn't mean that, yes it does. You can read someone's tone (with your ears). You can read the room (no actual text there). You can read my lips. Common radio parlance has people asking, "Do you read me?" It's an audio only medium....

I know it's hard to admit you've been abused by someone you love when you've never considered what they did to be abuse, but you will be better off once you do and work through it. Speaking as someone who has been there.

I love how FS almost always turns into a therapy session from one of these threads. Eventually, people will work out the problem that lead to the vent and begin dissecting it. It kinda cracks me up a bit, LOL. Damn. We really be like that.

AYRT
Oh dear...
You really really should reflect on your story. Maybe your parents are absolutely wonderful in other things. I don't know.
But this one situation you are telling about, is just awful. You are not having normal conversations with your father.
He is putting you down on every turn.
AND it had an effect on you. You've been arguing about pretty ridiculous thing to be annoyed about for hours.
You've been dismissive, even if you say you try not to be, about different experience than yours. Just to get this on "right".

SA
I am not sure if you are going to see this comment. And English isn't my first language so there are almost to none chances that I will get through to you.
But your father in this exact examples is being abusive. It doesn't mean you should stop seeing your parents. It means, that it would be beneficial to you to recognise abuse for what it is and to have boundaries for that.
First of all, you write that you make "mistakes" when you are distracted or tired. So your father harps on you when you are tired. This is already not a great thing. You are human and you supposed to be in a safe place with your parents. But you aren't.
You are telling your father that your friend is going to a restaurant you visited. So instead of discussing this restaurant or future plans your father derails the plot to teach you a lesson. "No, you are wrong, it was in February". Why does it matter? Why does he want to tell his child that they are wrong instead of having normal conversation?
Second time - you are complimenting his choice of tea and his advice. But even that isn't enough for him. He needs to put you down to your place of being always wrong.
From this story he has a need to be always right, to be always in power. Maybe it's only this small things, but frankly you sound in this thread like it isn't.

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