fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6644 ]

one else have a boomer or silent generation parent who is extremely conservative?

I usually dread getting together with my dad because he always end up going off on a political rant and how bad people are for being woke and ruining the world or some other nonsense.

But I just saw him for the first time since Trump’s inauguration and he didn’t go off on any rants or anything. Trump is so fucking bad that even the traditional conservatives who voted for him (but aren’t Trump supporters, meaning they don’t hang on his every word) avoid talking about politics. The only mention yesterday was rather interesting: I said I can’t find anyone to do a certain job around my house and dad said we’re facing an economic downturn (“but just a small one!”) and people will be so desperate for work that I should be able to hire someone. The expression on his face when he said we’re heading to an economic downturn was incredibly similar to when he told me my mom’s cancer was back. And when he rushed to tell me it would only be a small one, his expression and mannerisms were identical to him following up the cancer news with the fact that new treatments are available. Dunno if it’s relevant but mom died a few years ago so take from that what you will.

I’m just curious if anyone else with parents like mine have witnessed similar with their parents avoiding any political discussion.

My parents aren't that conservative for the most part and they've never supported Trump. They do occasionally voice some backward ideas thanks to fearmongering news stories aimed at older people, i.e. trans people attacking women in bathrooms. Or just plain old ignorant notions that come from not being very informed about current events but staunchly believing that they've got the finger on the pulse of world politics. We avoid political talk for the most part just to save everyone's blood pressure but my sister and I are liberal and I'm very conscious that anything I saw also serves as a PSA to my well-intentioned but occasionally wrongheaded parents.

For example, when my Dad expressed concern about trans people attacking women in bathrooms as though a man might think of it as a loophole to disguise himself and assault a lady while she's in there, I asked him, what's stopping him now? Men attack women all the time, in and out of bathrooms. They don't need disguises, they just do it and don't always get a just punishment. He thought about it for a few seconds and acknowledged I was right. The end.

Your story about your father is poignant. My admittedly more positive spin is that while he might not want to say it out loud, he's starting to get a little glimmer of sense that he backed the wrong side. That his hostility to wokeness that he shares with Trump and Co. felt good to him, but now they're doing other stuff that doesn't feel good to him and it's messing with his head a little. To that I say: good. Not out of spite, but because it's a way out of the toxic rabbit hole. He should see that the party he supported is causing harm to someone he presumably cares about. He should reflect on his role in that and what he could do to make amends.

This isn't a guarantee that he will do those things, but... a glimmer of common sense is good. And you have my sympathies for what you're going through.

I consider myself more moderate-leaning-liberal, but I'll bite.

My father voted Trump three times. His reasons were for immigration, Israel, and to advance his career in a specific field of work I won't name. Instead Trump's policies have negatively affected his job, and he hasn't had any business since 1/20. He straight up admitted he made more money when Biden was president, as flawed as he was. This is the same man who was sending me far-right fliers about how "Democrats stole the 2020 election" and texted my family violent threats if we voted non-Republican, and when I go out to dinner with him he constantly brings up politics with complete strangers. It's embarassing. Last time my mother visited him he was expressing disbelief over how "they're vaccinating the chickens" - My man, you voted for that. Enjoy coming home to no paychecks and using your retirement money on basic needs, I guess. The last time I visited him he tried to bait me by mentioning Trump's assasination attempt, and I just didn't engage. He only talks about politics and religion now, even his friends with similar views have cut him out.

I've grown to respect the "true" conservatives who reject Trump (one of my "sanity havens" is a conservative Substacker who has been criticizing Trump just as much as Biden, and I'm surprised how much I agree with him), but most MAGAs are in a cult at this point. He's not even benefitting from anything Trump does but still blindly follows him. I can understand some conservative views like pro-gun, small government, a free market, lower taxes, etc. I can understand the nostalgia for Reagan even if my politics are the opposite of his, my mom is progressive but still likes him. But Trumpism is just pure trolling, it's only the self-interest of rich people serving themselves, and it's hard for me to have any sympathy for people who fall for this crap.

Maybe you should accelerate your inheritance before he pisses it away on Trump-promoted crypto or a Tesla or the like.

AYRT - I know you're joking, but I'm not going to try to kill my father or lead to him getting killed just because I don't respect his politics.

Early Boomer parents here.

My Mom is a Fox-addicted conservative but finds real political conversation boring. She just wants her concerns addressed without having to think about it too much. Her biggest concern was immigration. So 100% MAGA. Except she thinks LGBTQ people should have equal rights.

My Dad is conservative-leaning but always up for civil debate. He's voted for Trump 3 times but held his nose the last time because of Trump's refusal to let go of 2020. He's perplexed by Trump's actions on taking office, and we discuss it with each other.

I'm a liberal populist, but I've never looked down on my parents for their political views. I'm very disturbed by the polarization in the US and the way people automatically dehumanize those they don't agree with. I go to church. I know most of the congregation doesn't agree with my political views. That's fine. I've faced more bullying IRL from the left since 2016. Progressive acquaintances have made assumptions about me and forced and shamed me into automatically agreeing with what they believe. Trump voters can be obnoxious but generally don't treat me like I'm completely stupid or evil for daring to form my own opinions.

Sounds like you are rationalizing your way into the Maga pipeline yourself.

DA - You just proved anon's point about polarization. I disagree but I understand the POV.

And there's that knee-jerk assuming and shaming I was talking about. Point proven.

Yeah, you go vote Trump to show me then. You know you were gonna anyway.

Re: Liberal adult children of conservatives

(Anonymous) - 2025-03-15 21:54 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Liberal adult children of conservatives

(Anonymous) - 2025-03-15 21:58 (UTC) - Expand

Part of the hard-to-escape MAGA cycle is that their stance is so hostile and aggressive that of course, it is isolating. Once upon a time, people from different political parties could have some sort of happy medium. But now, it's hard to find the happy medium between "deport all the brown people" and "let's send women's rights back to 1920" and... well, just not oppressing people for their skin color and gender. There's just not much give there.

Which is why a lot of MAGA supporters keep doubling down. I think a part of them realizes how badly things are fucked up, but their pride and isolation won't allow them to admit it. Maybe the progressive left isn't being too empathetic and kind about that, but honestly, I can't blame them. If someone burns down your house with all your stuff and your pets inside and then ends up in the hospital with second degree burns because they accidentally splashed kerosene all over themselves in the process, it would take a really, really saintly person to feel sorry for them. Because their hurt comes from their actions. YOUR hurt also comes from their actions. The key here is that if they hadn't chosen to burn down your house, you'd both be better off.

I will say, though, you've been very fortunate in your encounters with Trump voters. Others haven't been that lucky.

+1

I'm not even a leftist but I'm tired of MAGAs and being civil to them. Sure, maybe some are nice and can agree to disagree, but most I run into IRL are open and confrontive about their views. That's why they're isolated, they're the ones who scream about conspiracy theories and trying to "redpill" people in my experience. When Trump lost in 2020, they screamed the Democrats stole it. When Trump won in 2024 and their gas and grocery prices were higher on top of the DOGE nonsense, this is somehow Biden's fault. They're not people who just want a nice debate or want a smaller government that gets out of their business, they have psychological issues and treat Trump as a God. It's the right wing version of the crazy leftist behavior I hate.

AYRT

I live in a very religious and conservative state, and most of the GOP voters are not the type of MAGA-crazy you're talking about. My area of the state has always been racially diverse but politically similar, i.e. it attracts conservative immigrants and Dem-skeptical African Americans. Fortunately, it's not one of the abortion-restricting, DEI-demonizing red states.

Not yet, anyway.

There are conservatives and then there is MAGA.

The problem is that conservatives enable MAGA by 1) voting for MAGA candidates because they just *can't* with the Dems and 2) not condemning MAGA cruelties due to fear, ignorance, or because they love to see Republican candidates hurt the marginalized.

I really don't care at this point who is conservative or who is MAGA. Everyone had 10 years to figure out what Donald Trump was all about. Anyone who voted for him believed he was going to hurt someone else, or didn't care as long as he wasn't hurting them. So I judge everybody who voted Donald Trump in 2024 (and anyone who wasted their vote to punish the black lady... but that's another story), MAGA or otherwise. They're all enablers, and enablers are the worst.

Re: Liberal adult children of conservatives

(Anonymous) - 2025-03-16 08:15 (UTC) - Expand

In my experience, "the left" tends to "judge" folks who insist on taking neutral stances in situations where there is a clear oppressor, and the safety of marginalized people is at stake. That and folks who refuse to see the full picture but are willing to sacrifice the freedom of their fellow countrymen to hold on to their superiority.

Oh, pardon me if I was making AsSuMptIoNs since you were extremely vague about what you were supposedly being bullied for. Yet somehow, you don't seem curious as to why you've consistently received that kind of feedback from the left. Hmmm... nope, must be they're just meanies whose only purpose is to shame others who don't automatically share their beliefs.

I’m low contact with my relatives (highly conservative), but I (strongly left) do a lot of work with senior citizens in a rural conservative area. I’ve seen a major shift over the past few months where everyone has been scratching their heads at government actions, and viewing Trump and the conservatives they voted for with the same level of suspicion as liberals. While I haven’t seen a big change or any “I’m going to vote democrat” type statements, there’s a sense of disappointment, frustration, and shame among conservatives and Trump supporters. Political discussions are still had but they tend to be more in the vein of “can you believe this guy?” And “my daughter lost her job because of him”.

Before the election we had tons of houses flying multiple Trump/MAGA flags - I counted 20+ at one point. Now in a town of 6000 we have maybe 2.

The flags are getting taken down all over my conservative town, too. Apparently a recent town hall with a career GOP rep was a shit show. Midterms are going to be interesting.

Nah, Republicans always fall in line. Best you can hope is they are just quieter while doing so.

Re: Liberal adult children of conservatives

(Anonymous) - 2025-03-15 22:10 (UTC) - Expand

I live in a tiny speck of blue surrounded by a vast ocean of red. The Trump stuff around town easily quadrupled after the election but it’s all disappeared in the last few weeks LOL

I'm also in a rural, mostly conservative area and... yeah. No big protests and people publicly renouncing the GOP or Trump. But you see fewer signs, and people are a depressing combination of angry, upset, embarrassed, betrayed. People genuinely thought that gas and grocery prices would come crashing down on day one, like Trump promised. They're dismayed that family members have lost their jobs when losing their jobs means their whole family is financially screwed. They don't understand what this Elon Musk/DOGE thing is when egg prices are still high.

Now some of them still try to blame Biden, of course. But for the people who don't want to publicly blame Trump, my guess is they're feeling a little shaken and hopefully a lot disillusioned.

Not from the US, so these political sentiments will read somewhat differently, but the same "liberal adult children of conservatives" label applies. Though my (boomer) parents were radicalized many, many decades ago, in their own respective upbringings by the 50s-70s versions of these same pipelines with the inevitable (((conspiracy))) at the core (I found Before the Storm, the Nixonland prequel, absolutely agonizing to read from how clearly my mother's parents were drinking the Welch's grape juice of our country's discount John Birch Society). By the time I was born, they were full-on alt-right, which is not an exaggeration or a melodramatic lament: I was quite literally taught by them that Dresden was essentially unprovoked, the holocaust wasn't real, human races were essentially fantasy races complete with different fundamental abilities/personalities/characteristics, that it was righteous and just for white Christians to conquer the globe, that UN was a global communist conspiracy, and that Catholicism was a pagan religion headed by the Great Satan who would herald the apocalypse.

Luckily for myself and my siblings, my parents were also crushingly poor, and couldn't afford to send us to the religious schools run by their (extreme) reactionary """church""", nor homeschool as my dad had to work and my stay-at-home-helpmeet was suicidally depressed, so we went to public schools and learned meaningful facts about reality (aka lieberal brainwashing from my dad's POV lmao) and naturally fell out with the cult and those perspectives. This was a catastrophe as far as they were concerned and my father, especially, couldn't stop trying to rant about politics and religion and history to bait us into arguments we'd had with him a hundred times before, as condescendingly as possible, with shouting and namecalling, violent threats, etc.

We had to cut all contact for many years, I'm afraid to say. It took decades of low contact, firm boundaries, hanging up phones outright the second politics were mentioned, or any kind of disrespect expressed, and, depressingly, their own church "friends" abandoning them when they went through a mental health crisis (because, naturally, that was stigmatized, so they became persona non grata to all those people they'd seen every Sunday and helped with their own life problems in the blink of an eye, while their evil atheist "own god" morally bankrupt friends and family helped them out), so that they could see the hypocrisy of these people with their own eyes, to deradicalize them to any meaningful degree. That was the only solution. I see now that many people's parents were exposed to the same conspiratorial, hateful brain-melting poison my own parents were chugging back in the 80s, and unfortunately, the cure is so long and arduous, that at this point, they'll probably die before they recover. To this day I'm not sure it was worth what little contact I still have with them, even reformed, either.

RIP.

I've found that taking the route of encouraging people like this to admit "I was wrong" or "I was fooled" is usually futile... but "you were lied to" is surprisingly effective because they're already distrusting of politicians and the media machine naturally inclined to try and blame others.

It's not much, but it's better than stubbornly insisting they were right, I guess?

^This. It seems like splitting hairs to many, but it makes admitting they fucked up just a wee bit more palatable to some.

Not USAian, but Brazilian. Still counts, I consider myself very left leaning and so is my middle-older sister. Around Bolsonaro's presidency the right start to gain a lot of popularity and my mom and step-dad (as well as a good part of my immediate family) spired into it hard. My step-dad is exactly the type of guy who would be targeted by online right-wing grifters, and my mom followed suit.

Corona vaccines conspiracies, trans issues, anti-feminist, anti-wokenism ("lacração" as we say here). My mom at least had the decency of not bringing it up when uncalled-for, it was hell to hear my step-dad rant on about these issues. It was very disappointed hearing to some things my mom says. It has calmed out a lot since Lula, the occasional rant, but I do feel that Bolsonaro finally getting heat has weakened right-wing talking points by a lot. That said, I still care for them, and it never drove us apart, which I'm thankful about. Just very concerning, since I believe my mom to be a lot smarter to be just following my step-dad on this (who I would call less smart, but with care, I'm happy to how health their relationship is and don't think he's an awful individual.)