[ SECRET POST #6648 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6648 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Abbott Elementary]



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07.
[Black Sails / Billy Bones]

















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 16 secrets from Secret Submission Post #950.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Spouse Question/Committed Partner Question

[(Anonymous)]

I feel that fairly frequently. When my nerves are run ragged, when I'm a little under the weather, when I'm in a bad mood and my beloved has done something annoying it's so easy to direct all that negativity at someone who can feel it. But that isn't kind or helpful so I'll take a walk or write myself an email or let it out in some other way before addressing what I can. I'd forget a moment of lashing out but my partner would probably never forget the time I came out of nowhere tearing them to pieces over having too much stuff on the kitchen counter.

Little things like "Can you run the dishwasher when it's full?" can be talked about and worked on while big things like "I hate how you get to know your coworkers and get involved in their drama and then get involved with management drama and it leaves me feeling like you could lose your job at any moment" are both kind of unhinged and also unreasonable.

More broadly: I think it's interesting how we swung from "boomer-humor" the-old-ball-and-chain, 'take my wife, please!' type things to millennial/gen alpha "wife guys" and we still have the same issues. While I appreciate the step away from casual misogyny I feel like we've lost the ability to say publicly that having a partner sucks sometimes. Sometimes this human being, whom I love more than words can say, is a dumb-ass or fucks up or prioritizes something I don't care about. Making compromises and involving someone else's needs/wants/dreams into your thinking is a pain. Yes it's worth it, but it's hard.

And it's hard to say that without sounding like a "Stand By Your Man" tradwife sometimes. Because no one deserves cruelty from a loved on, and a relationship just can't (shouldn't?) survive that. (And contempt. Oof but contempt is the death of love.) But also there will be moments where you do not like *anyone* around you, there will be times when a request for aid will not fill your heart with joy but rather "fuck OFF i want to do what I want to do" there are times when you are small and petty and unkind and this doesn't make you a bad person because thought crimes aren't real. You can always say "I'm upset and need a moment to myself" or "I'm sorry, can this wait a little bit?" or "I'm very unhappy right now and all I want to do is take it out on someone. I need some alone time to take it out on Fandom!Secrets."(Either as a troll or on a troll, making a vicious secret, whatever)

All this is to say: it's totally normal to not like someone 100% of the time. We are all of us complex human beings and we will not slot together perfectly. And also, even when we don't like someone (for the moment or day or whatever) we need to be kind, or at least not cruel. It's us + our loved one against the problem, not us vs. our loved one. Only you can decide if these periods of not liking a person outweigh the benefits of being close to that person.

blah. words. No re-reading we die like Sanguinius.

Re: Spouse Question/Committed Partner Question

[(Anonymous)]

LOL I've literally said to my fiancee to please leave me alone, I'm stirring the pot on f!s.