fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6677 ]

[ SECRET POST #6677 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6677 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[The Agency]

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[Thirty Rock]

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[One Piece]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 07 secrets from Secret Submission Post #953.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Kickin' it off early.

Starting to realize Mum can't ever be "at fault" for anything. When I told her I was having trouble opening up to her because I felt it would stress her out more, she literally said "you're the one who chose to stop talking, not me" - yeah, and she's the one making her stress obvious enough to warrant it, not me.

For such a people pleaser, you'd think 'sorry' would be an easier concept.

I feel you, OP. A lot of people struggle to accept responsibility for anything, even stuff that's 100% their own doing.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARVO

Is this supposed to be a dig at me?

Why would you think that?

Uh, no. Why would it be? The DARVO neatly describes what your mom did to you during your discussion - she evaded accountability, then turned around and tried to make it out like her issues were your fault.

I am not the OP.

DA
you are self-centered, aren't you?

Re: Vent thread

(Anonymous) - 2025-04-18 15:53 (UTC) - Expand

Okay, that makes it even weirder.

Such a frustrating dynamic. I tried really hard to talk through a similar dynamic with my mom and give her many chances to see where I was coming from, only to find that there was no way forward except to let it go for my own peace of mind, or to just say yup, you're right about everything, sorry for bringing it up. It was sad but liberating to accept that I wasn't going to get my perspective validated by her and to stop worrying about it. Hopefully your mom is more open to changing, but however things go with her, you have a right to your own thoughts and feelings on things.

My partner has a mother who was rather neglectful when he was a kid. There was no issue with drugs/alcohol as far as we know, it was just... she had a kid because she wanted a tiny cute best friend who'd love her unconditionally, but she was very emotionally immature. When she didn't have anything else going on in her life (i.e. a boyfriend), she spoiled him like a puppy. The second she found something more interesting (again, a MAN) she'd ditch him with babysitters, relatives, or just on his own for hours and hours at a stretch.

Not surprisingly, they're not close. But she's constantly bemoaning how unfair it is that she loves him soooooooo much and would do anything for him (except stick around in his childhood and not date losers who'd steal all their stuff) and she doesn't understand why they're not besties!!! You know, like they were when he was four.

She will never get it, because she simply doesn't want to. If she acknowledged why they're estranged, she'd have to take responsibility for her behavior and she's 70+ years old and still can't do that for love or money. So she pretends like it's a mystery why they're not close and it makes her so sad, you guys. *eyeroll*

https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html?ref=tbqtalks.com

My pc keyboard died a bit ago and I have had the worst luck replacing it. The first one I bought died after a week. Then the second one I borrowed from a friend died. Now I'm using my "travel" keyboard and it has started to make this annoying squeaking sound on some of the keys and is driving me batty. I need to suck it up and put some money into a good new one but I haven't found one I really like yet. I'm just annoyed by the whole situation.

Time it takes (with extreme effort) to lose 10 pounds: 10 weeks
Time it takes (with almost no thought at all) to gain half of it back: 3 days

Not fair.

And every 10 years the ratio gets even more unfair.

My friend just converted to Judaism and is saying that she's worried for her safety now. On one hand, it's 100% true that minorities have it rough (I'm a POC, so I get it). On the other hand, my friend is a rich white girl with a very secure life, so it feels disrespecful.

She has every right to worry for her safety. There's rampant anti Semitism in the world. The world has gone batty.

Antisemitism has always been with us, a world war was fought over it, millions died. And it seems to be rearing its ugly head in a big, politically mainstream way, which is alarming to many people who aren't Jewish. But I do see where you're coming from (I'm a POC too) because you've likely been worrying for your safety and the safety of loved ones for quite some time now. I know I have.

I was looking forward to a weekend alone in the flat while my roommate was on a trip. Just doing chores in my underwear, singing loudly (and badly) to my music, etc.

But now he’s sick and probably not going anywhere. I won’t say anything of course, especially since I don’t want to discourage him for asking for help. And I really don’t mind bringing him things or driving him around. I’m just disappointed at not having a little break.

Trying Pillowfort again as a last resort as I don't like big spaces like Tumblr (they've given me trouble in the past). There's no content to reblog, the 'fan' community is dead/only has four members and because of bad experiences on other platforms I am too scared to post my own things. I just wanted an outlet where I am not talking to a brick wall and to bond with others. To the person who asked me who the actor was, sorry I did not reply. I was too scared as I have had problems in the past opening up about things I love.

I'm pretty sure my mother has Alzheimer's. She just forgot my NAME.

Surely there have been prior warning signs? My mother has early Alzheimer's, and the dementia started in her 40s. She has very little short term memory now but hasn't ever forgotten my name.

Did she actually forget it or did she call you by another child or pet's name? Because that's really common.

I was going to say. For YEARS when we were younger my parents would occasionally mix up me and my younger sister, or occasionally forget one of our names and just exclaim "The other one!"

Have been stressed about my next week at work so much that I've started having stress dreams. Damn, brain, stop it!

Here's mine. Dad In Law had a bad fall and he's been under care for months. Mom In Law had to go to the ER for a cold. I think we should start talking about them moving to an assisted living community because DIL might not be going home for months (if ever) and I'm so scared for MIL living alone, what if she has a fall or another stroke? Not to mention they're both lonely without each other.

But it isn't my place and MIL is still sharp as ever and my Spouse and Sibling In Law are talking with her about what to do... I'm just baffled that a retirement home isn't on the table yet.

I just want to talk about the dream I had last night.

In my dream, I was over at my sister's house, except it didn't look like my sister's house IRL. My sister said she had to go somewhere and asked if I could drop my niece off to her daycare.
I said yes, looked at the time and realized I would make it to work late if I were to do so. I really wanted to spend some time with my niece so I texted my boss that I would be 30 minutes late.
On the drive to the daycare center I decided that I would have enough time to get coffee.
I don't remember dropping my niece off, but at some point I'm driving to Starbucks. Instead of going through the drive-thru I decide to head inside.
Inside, it looks more like a mom and pop diner and I was looking at the cakes and pies they had on display.
In front of me, I saw a coworker I don't like much. She wad talking loudly though I can't recall anything she said. I spent my time behind her hoping she wouldn't see me and address me.
At some point I was back home, and lying in bed. I was stressing out because I knew I was late to work. I texted my boss, apologizing but I'd be 4 hours late to work based on my phone reading that it 1:11.

That is all I remember.

I was telling a coworker about it and she said that a way to tell whether you're in a dream or not is to look at a clock. In dreams you won't be able to read time.
That's not true to me. My stress dreams are me being extremely aware what time it is because I'm stressing about being late to work. I’m often glancing at a clock in my stress dreams.

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[ SECRET POST #6677 ]

Vent thread

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