fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6692 ]

[ SECRET POST #6692 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6692 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

[Xenoblade Chronicles X]

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04. [WARNING for discussion of fictional incest]

__________________________________________________

05. [WARNING for discussion of JKR and related topics]

__________________________________________________

06. [WARNING for discussion of Neil Gaiman and rape/sexual assault]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #956..
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I thought this was funny, but apt:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/kelley_greene/dating-women-who-like-to-be-alone

That's where I'm at. I'm a straight woman, I don't dislike men or the idea of dating, but the reality is just so... messy and with a low return of happiness. I've been meh relationships where the guy isn't bad, he's just not worth the trouble? Not worth giving up half (or more) of the bed, not worth the extra mess he makes, not worth having to include or consult someone about all your plans, not worth having to accommodate someone else's work schedule, vacation schedule, preferences that don't align with yours, etc. etc. If I'm able to pay my entire rent myself, then I can find the rest of the good relationship stuff elsewhere.

I'm like 90% sure I'm aroace for no particular reason. Well, maybe seeing how all that shit has worked out for siblings. But I've just never been interesting in relationships. I enjoy spending my time to myself.

I feel like that even at 30 I still can't tell if I'm Asexual or just really can't be bothered with getting into a relationship with anyone. I like spending time with myself or just hanging out with friends/family before needing alone time again.

I'm a lesbian and have a partner (we sleep in separate rooms and both like alone time) but if I had to deal with straight men, yeah.

Living alone is underrated. I'm not a super tidy person, but I'm not a slob, either. There's a peace to knowing that I will not have to clean up someone else's mess. Everything will be exactly as I left it. No one will move, borrow or break my stuff. When I cook something for myself, nobody complains it isn't to their taste. If I don't feel like cooking and just eat cheese and crackers, nobody is there to complain about not having a hot dinner. The leftovers I saved from dinner will still be in the fridge for my lunch, nobody will have purloined it for a midnight snack. The bathroom is for my exclusive use alone, I will not have to step in and realize that someone took a nasty shit, neglected to turn on the fan, and now I have no choice but to use it while holding my breath. The shower will always be free. My music, tv and movie choices are mine alone. If I don't feel like talking to someone, or listening to someone's accounting of how their day went, their fave whatever that I don't care about but must pretend to be interested out of politeness, I don't have to. Sweet silence is there if I want it. The bed is all mine. The pillows are all mine and will not be stolen or sweated upon or thrown on the floor. The blankets are all mine and I won't have to deal with either wrestling it away from a comatose blanket-hog or just being cold.

I haven't ruled out dating or a long term relationship. But a man would have to bring a LOT to the table to make this worth my while. Simply being good looking, funny, sweet or good in bed isn't enough. Being a good guy who listens to me, remembers and values what I say, respects me, pulls his own weight around the house, handles his mess like a responsible adult, treats other women with respect, etc. is nice, but that's barely the minimum of what I'd accept. If this is too much for any man, that's fine, I'm happy being alone. I'd totally adopt a cat if I weren't allergic and die a crazy cat lady who doesn't have to tolerate mediocre men.

I like the idea of having a life partner and being best friends and family with them, up to and including marriage, cohabitation, lots of shared activities. I would prefer it over not, even. If the partner is a man, w/e, gender is not a barrier to me.

I can and would prefer to skip the dating part though and go right into committed comfortable old married couple status. It's not un-romantic - I am not aro, and this would be a romantic relationship - but it's not what people usually mean when they talk about romance... even though, all things considered, most relationships considered "good," that last, end up there eventually.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #6692 ]

Women who enjoy being alone.

Re: Women who enjoy being alone.

Re: Women who enjoy being alone.

Re: Women who enjoy being alone.

Re: Women who enjoy being alone.

Re: Women who enjoy being alone.