[ SECRET POST #099 ]

[grayout.livejournal.com]

⌈ Secret Post #099 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Early because I need to go recharge.

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 106 secrets from Secret Submission Post #015.
Secrets Not Posted: 0 broken links, 0 not!secrets, 0 not!fandom.
Next Secret Post: Tomorrow, Sunday, April 15th, 2007.
Current Secret Submission Post: Here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[punanamine.livejournal.com]

Putting aside the gross feelings for "that special person" doesn't work. This is the point I'm trying to make. It is ALWAYS obvious. Your lover doesn't have to be pulling faces and saying "ewww" for it to be obvious. They may think they're hiding their feelings but they never are.

As I said, I would prefer that a lover be honest about their dislike--it's not like there aren't lots of other things a couple can do--than for them to give head to "be nice."

not directed at you

[ew-younerd.livejournal.com]

I'd like to point out that there is a difference between sexual aversion and asexuality.

Asexuality is, by definition, no sexuality. It is a lack of sex drive (toward others, interpersonal chemistry). Sexual aversion is actually being disgusted at the act of sex. Genitals are normal. They exist to make you feel good/reproduce/whatever, and sex releases bonding and love chemicals that most other acts between two people cannot.

If someone is straight and goes EWWWWW at the thought of homosexual sex, they have an aversion or an issue with homosexual sex. IF someone is straight and just goes "Um. not my thing." to homosexual sex, it's a lack of interest. Just like a straight man=\= homophobe, but a homophobic man's reaction to gay sex would not just be excused with the fact that he's 'straight', because an averted reaction in general is usually indicating you have an issue with the subject at hand rather than a disinterest in it.

Or maybe it could just be immaturity.

I know many asexuals, and most of them aren't afraid of human anatomy. If our genitalia were always out and shown, people wouldn't think they look 'weird' or 'gross'. If our arms were always covered and no one ever saw them, then when someone finally DID see our arms, people would think they looked weird and freaky as heck. "EW! LOOK AT THE VEINS IN THEIR HAND!!"

To be grossed out at a partner's privates is not accepting something they were born with. You don't need to interact with the partner's privates or get down and dirty with them, but to actually be grossed out is sexual aversion, not disinterest. Imo, at least.