[ SECRET POST #6705 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6705 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 06 secrets from Secret Submission Post #958..
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I would say, no, fandom didn't used to be that tiring (especially on point 3) but also, that fandom NOW doesn't have to be that tiring either. I've had a lot of bad experiences with big fandoms (which it sounds like you're mainly getting into, from what you listed in your secret), which I've gotten into more recently, but my small fandoms were and still are chill and friendly.

Point 1 & 2 are things that have always been (generally) true of megafandoms, although point 2 has been exacerbated by "everything is public and everyone is potentially talking to everyone" type social media sites (Tumblr and Twitter/BlueSky are the biggest examples of this), which are more popular today than they were 20-25 years ago when smaller forums, smaller interest communities, and friendslocking functionality were more of a thing. If you want to be in a big fandom, I recommend you carve out a small space where you can actually have semi-private discussions with people. Some recommendations: create a community on a smaller/less active website like DeviantArt or Dreamwidth, or join/create a subreddit or Discord server that might also be even more specialized (e.g. rather than a generic Arcane server or whatever, have one dedicated to Arcane artists trying to improve their craft or, like, Arcane memes/silly discussions or Sevika fans only -- just something more specific that just cuts down on how many people you expect to interact with and gives people a shared starting place).

Cliqueishness and BNF worship has always been a part of fandom. My advice here would be to avoid the worst ones (ones where the community is centered around one BNF with a big ego who tends to turn on people who don't agree with them) and to just push through the ones that are less bad. It's always going to be hard to vibe with an established community, especially if you're a newcomer who has a lot of opinions. You're going to get a reaction kind of like that "Awkward Party Reaction" meme at first. If you push through that initial awkwardness of just being a new person yakking your head off, usually you will get to know people and will become familiar with the community's inside jokes and will become a mainstay in the community yourself. But it takes time to acclimate and for people to get to know you and get a sense of who you are. Just don't be a jerk and know when to read the room and step back when you've overstepped and you'll be fine. And if you're not having fun, absolutely just leave.

And for 3, I recommend finding people who are into stuff that is older and have been running active communities related to that thing for a while. It is still possible some members will flit on to the next hot thing in less than a year, but hopefully, there will be a core group of people for whom that's a forever fandom that you have a chance of making more long-lasting friendships with.