[ SECRET POST #6737 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6737 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 32 secrets from Secret Submission Post #964.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I've always found it odd that people mourn for those they didn't know personally. Not a bad thing, just odd to me. Like I get being sad, but mourning? But then again, maybe we're all defining things differently and what we feel might actually be closer than I am imagining.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't mourn the person I didn't know, but especially if they're great artists, musicians, actors, et cetera that die young, I mourn the loss of talent and what could've been. Especially if their works were important to me in some way and I wanted more of what they were creating.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt - I am probably getting hung up on the "mourning" part. I definitely feel what you are describing, like a general sadness for the loss of talent and what could have been. Or even just sadness for the loss of life in general. I guess for me "mourning" is a more intense thing.

But I do tend to get hung up on specific wording and definitions. I am endlessly fascinated by how we all use the same words but can mean different things.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

it's that we're all clearly using "mourning" to represent a range of both feelings and behaviors. you're totally right.

so is OP meaning mourning as in "aww, that's sad news, now let me scroll on to the next news item" or literally crying, going into a period of depression and grief, or...anything on the scale between? because a lot of things are understandable but we probably all have our line in the sand beyond which it's a little weird to be going on about an actor.

Re: +1

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, it's the phrasing on the secret that gets me. "Go into mourning" implies pretty strong period of grief imo, not just general "that's sad" feelings.

Re: +1

[(Anonymous)]

DA - this is how I read the secret too, and if that is the case, then it does seem odd to me too. Certainly, I've been SAD when a celebrity I like died, but "going into mourning" seems...excessive. If I experienced that regularly whenever someone I didn't even know died, I'd probably seek out therapy!

[(Anonymous)]

Same. I think people (or maybe just one or two annoying trolls) tend to make a fuss over any show of sadness about a celebrity death, acting as though we're "worshipping" them or something crazy. It's not like that, and the "mourning" doesn't occupy very much time. It's not like I sit around sobbing into a hanky or creating shrines to their memory. But when their name comes up, I think, damn, how sad and what a loss.

That's it.

[(Anonymous)]

+1
This is exactly how I feel.

[(Anonymous)]

*shrugs* The fact that you "didn't know them personally," to me, just means that they would have no reason to know or be sad if you died. It doesn't mean they weren't a part of your life or that it isn't a loss that they won't continue to be. And "loss of stuff they would create in the future, had they lived" is a minor part of it: mostly I'm sorry they're dead because they won't ever share any more of themselves with the world. Thoughts, feelings, witticisms, behaviors, and everything else.

I don't think it's reasonable to expect other people to treat you with extra consideration because a celebrity you liked died, or mourn in irresponsible or attention-getting ways. (I.e., your kids and cats need to eat regardless of whether you feel like dragging yourself to a store, and the world will rightly judge you harshly if you make a spectacle of yourself on the internet trying to outdo other fans in a large fandom by performatively freaking out instead of sharing what this person meant to you or making art!) But I can definitely relate to an actor or a singer's death feeling like it just hit you unexpectedly, and harder than you thought it would. That doesn't happened to me often, but it has happened before.

And I don't tend to follow celebrities, so more than once, I've circled back to a song or media appearance, on YouTube, only to find the comments full of grieving fans. I heard of Atsushi Sakurai's sudden death directly after a show because I wanted to link someone to his music. That was months after the fact. But it still evoked a ... silent, personal sense of "I really miss this man" every time I remembered, for quite a while, afterwards.

[(Anonymous)]

The celebrity deaths I mourned were surprising to me. I mourned Tom Petty's death and it affected me way more than any other celebrity death and to this day I'm surprised by how much it affected me.

I can only guess it's because of parasocial relationships I've developed. The ones that hit me hard have a parental tie.
Didn't realize I'd seen Tom Petty as a father figure of sorts.