Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2025-07-02 06:08 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2025-07-02 06:08 pm
[ SECRET POST #6753 ]
⌈ Secret Post #6753 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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[Donkey Kong Bananza]
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 13 secrets from Secret Submission Post #965.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2025-07-03 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)Nobody is going into withdrawal, vomiting, hallucinating, and possibly dying if they go cold turkey off fanfiction. No one is having blackouts impairing their judgement because of fanfiction. No one is maybe crashing their car on DUI and maybe killing people because of fanfiction. No one is robbing liquor stores to acquire fanfiction and going to jail. That's how alcohol (and other drugs) ruins lives. And EVEN IF THESE THINGS WERE EQUIVALENT, WHICH THEY AREN'T -
- everything we know about actual drug rehab says that this same advice, "you have to build up the other supports in your life you'll keep going back" is the most effective way to change.
Anons struggling with this should actually feel super proud that they've found a coping mechanism that does not do this kind of damage. That's going to give them way more breathing room to work on themselves. The coping mechanism isn't working for them any more because they need to start moving forward instead of just coping - but it's actually a pretty good coping mechanism. And addressing the root cause is still going to be the solution they need.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2025-07-03 07:00 pm (UTC)(link)OP
(Anonymous) 2025-07-03 07:40 pm (UTC)(link)But I'd like to point out that I actually feel more shame in addressing my addiction to fanfiction than alcohol. Simply because a lot of people are addicted to alcohol and it's an addictive substance to the brain/body, while fanfiction is like... ???? simply dopamine addiction, basically. You get way more support when you're trying to quit alcohol or a binge eating disorder, trust me. Nobody cares if you're addicted to books, but it's still quite harmful.
I think it's the same with people struggling with gaming or even phone addiction. A lot of people just don't believe it's a thing and it ruins a lot of people's life. (again, the root problem is elsewhere, sure, but the soothing/coping mechanism is under that form)
Even under my secret there is people saying "but reading fanfiction is not harmful itself" yeah man, I FUCKING KNOW. I could be ruining my liver right now. Sometimes I still wish I was, ahaha.
Also I'd like to point out here that some of the comments under my secret are actually quite dismissive? I know a lot of stuff about addiction, I know how to overcome it and I've done it with alcohol and other destructive behaviours I've had in the past and I'm in a way better place. Still, it's fucking hard. Fanfiction is like my final beast. I can't stop it. I successfully quit gaming and binge watching TV so now I do more of my hobbies, but I can't seem to cut out all the time I waste on fics.
And I'm in my middle 30s??? Why that other anon had to point out that they overcame their problems in their 20s and thus I should be in my 20s right now fucking depressed me. We all grow up in out own pace... Next time do us a favour and don't point any arbitrary "age bracket" out.
Re: OP
(Anonymous) 2025-07-03 07:54 pm (UTC)(link)I'm the anon who mentioned quitting in my 20s, and my comment said nothing about how you "should" have too. I was responding in agreement and because I related to the anon who is currently struggling with this in their 40s. I think you're reading my comment in bad faith, ngl.
Re: OP
(Anonymous) 2025-07-03 08:02 pm (UTC)(link)Regardless to this, I regret writing the post above. I'm not in a good mental state ATM
Re: OP
(Anonymous) 2025-07-03 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)Which is the other comment that mentioned their 20s. I read the comment where the "you sound like me in my 20s" and it's explicitly sympathetic and reassuring to you, so I don't see how that's dismissive. But even that comment didn't seem to be projecting an age onto you or saying you "should" be anything, just using "I was there in my 20s" as a way to relate to you.
Re: OP
(Anonymous) 2025-07-03 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)But IDK the anon writing "You sound like you're in your twenties (you sound exactly like me in my twenties), and I promise, as you take the baby steps and build those new muscles and get into your thirties, so much of the fear just melts away." is literally assuming I'm in my 20s (as in "I should be in my 20s") and that the fear will melt as I get in my 30s. How is that not the case? It's explicitly written right there!
While they are quite sympathetic and reassuring and I appreciate the overall post, that portion where they assume my age because of I problem I'm not currently able to overcome still unnerved me. I found it unintentionally patronising.
I just wanted to point out that "HEY please pay attention to that and please don't mention/project any arbitrary age bracket when talking about addiction (or other mental health problems) because it can actually hurt people. We are all on a different journey here." I could've worded it better for sure.
(and regarding of finding comment dismissive, it was not about that comment in particular.)
no subject
(Anonymous) 2025-07-04 01:38 am (UTC)(link)