[ SECRET POST #6768 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6768 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 09 secrets from Secret Submission Post #968.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Venting thread...

[(Anonymous)]

You know what I hate? When I'm just trying to talk and have a conversation and the person I'm talking to responds with unaskedfor advice. I understand (especially with people I've built some closeness with) helping a friend when you hear them talk about a problem/issue and you think "oh I have some insight on this, let me give some help/advice/tips I myself have come across".
But I hate when every comment I make is followed up with "well why don't you..."/ "I would do this or that"/ "do this".
It makes me feel like the person I'm talking to is simply being dismissive. They cannot for even just a few moments de-center themselves so to make it about them they will hand out advice and feel satisfied that they gave me a moment of attention before switching their and my attention onto them because God forbid they not be the main character.

Sometimes I just want to talk about what's on my mind. If I want advice, I'd ask. Otherwise, sometimes I just want to spend a few moments to talk about something on my mind.

With people I trust, I know I can say something along the lines of "Thanks for the advice, but can I just talk about my thing for a moment? I'm not looking for advice or a solution."
With some people, I learned that if I tell them that I don't want their advice they can take it really personally and get snippy/rude.
Unfortunately I can't just stop interacting with every difficult person I come across so I just...have to learn what people are like and accept it.
If I feel like I have to navigate around someone and avoid a lot of topics/word things carefully, I will keep interactions as short as possible.

Re: Venting thread...

[(Anonymous)]

I get you, nonny. I think it's human nature that people go into problem solving mode when they hear about a problem, but it can be really aggravating when you just want someone to listen sympathetically so you can get it off your chest.

I read a quote once that really stuck with me: "Unsolicited advice is implied criticism". That rings true, IMO.