[ SECRET POST #6771 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6771 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 31 secrets from Secret Submission Post #969.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Mom with cancer anon, warnings apply here

[thewakokid]

I don't know how helpful this is, but this is what I would like tell my earlier self from a few years back:

Don't worry. It's going to hurt, but you know that. And you also know the hurt is going to fade. Its going to get easier. The less you fret and fight it, the easier it will be. Your role is not to be immune to the pain but to experience it, let it happen, and then still be there once it fades. This will happen no matter what you do or think or feel or try to feel. There is going to be a lot that will be beyond your control, even things you think SHOULD be within your control like how you feel and what you should be doing. There is no "Should". You are a continuum. Dont let yourself fixate on the future or the past, the expectations you place on yourself or the loss. Observe it, experience it, boil it down to the moment you are in and simply wait for the next one, and while you wait consider your only real obligation is to ensure your basic needs are met. Food, shelter, sleep, warmth. Expand to the more complex needs when you are ready, and it is ok to say "Not today" if you are not ready.

Like I said, I dont know if this will be useful to you personally. I fell to pieces when my dad died, and I found myself trying so hard to fight myself falling to pieces. Which I now recognise was foolish, it was in my nature to fall to pieces at something like this. Maybe its in everyone's nature, although my sister seemed to manage to hold it all together somehow so IDK, maybe it IS an individual thing... And fighting to be normal, to think about everything, to marshal my emotions into some kind of productivity simply didnt help. It just delayed the process of rebuilding. I was so caught up in "Shoulds" and "Supposed to" and fighting to not feel any of the things I was always going to have to feel anyway... And it was just fruitless. Moment by moment, thats how I should have done it. Take from this whatever lesson you think will help.

Re: Mom with cancer anon, warnings apply here

[(Anonymous)]

I don't like you. But I still thank you for the advice. I've been through this rodeo before, it's just... I'm not a kid this time. So something about it hurts more.