case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2025-09-15 07:00 pm

[ SECRET POST #6828 ]


⌈ Secret Post #6828 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Great British Menu, series 10]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #975.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2025-09-16 11:12 am (UTC)(link)
SA and let me be clear I am not talking about real life gay people having sex or real life straight people having sex, I am talking about real life porn preferences of not-real sex.

Big dom small sub, aggro dom passive sub, older taller dom younger smaller sub is in every single porn genre of every single combo of gender enjoyed by every type of person - dommy mommy and little boys, big dominant sisters and innocent girls with crushes - but it's only in m/m that it's always deemed a moral or social issue by its fanbase so often instead of treated like a kink

(Anonymous) 2025-09-16 11:18 am (UTC)(link)
I think a big part of why it's treated differently is because a big part of fandom treats their gay shipping (and now their trans headcanons and boypussy fetishes) as activism so they just HAVE to make it seem like they're doing it "properly" - so when they inevitably just fall back onto the same fetish stereotypes wile still playing at having some sort of moral highground, it raises more eybrows than if they just admitted "Oh well, it's just my fetish/kink".

(Anonymous) 2025-09-16 11:29 am (UTC)(link)
I dunno, your experiences are the opposite of mine honestly. I run into more people who are like "fuck yeah cuntboys we love boypussy" and more people who complain that if you make the smaller guy bottom or a bottom cuntboy that's somehow sexist or anti feminist or something in a way that is magically different from having the bigger girl in an F/F top all the time, or have the dick in dickgirl stuff, which is also like, always

The latter people are usually NOT fans of boypussy stuff, which makes it even weirder. Maybe they need a reason to dislike it and don't want to just say "your kink is not my kink, I hate it, and I need a reason to justify that"?

Probably both tbh

(Anonymous) 2025-09-16 11:54 am (UTC)(link)
Pretty sure different fandoms have different dynamics (also a matter of which group the resident BNFs belong to). I have seen both over time. I feel like the "shipping/fetish is activism" crowd tended to be stronger when the whole trans and pussyboy trend was newer, the same way it was stronger in regards to gay ships when slash was getting more mainstream. Possibly a way to overcompensate for a guilty conscience because they want to be good allies/members of the LGBT+ crowd and see their fetishes as exploitative of the groups they're supposed to defend? So I feel like the "shipping is activism" is more of a thing in fandoms that have either a very young or fairly old population.

But yeah, I think a lot of the "your kink sucks and I need to tell you" comes from the fact that people are too damn dumb to tag and also often shove their fetishes in people's faces when they don't want to see it (as in "this is so popular that everyone HAS to like it"). And because people want to avoid being called transphobic for hating trans fetish fic, they feel they need to start it out with "actually YOU are doing it wrong".

(Anonymous) 2025-09-16 12:13 pm (UTC)(link)
The guilty ally thing might explain why a majority of it is from people outside the group they feel like they're fetishizing, for sure. and why you don't see female fans being like "bigger stronger girl always tops is reinforcing stereotypes!" in the same way they do for "bigger stronger guy always tops is reinforcing stereotypes!" even though its literally the same bigger top smaller bottom kink. It's porn of the group they're part of so there's no guilt? and if there's a large group of male fans out there somewhere arguing over being guilty allies to lesbians I've yet to run across them lol

But it does end up in m/m overall being held to weird, higher standards :\

With you on the tag thing in the general sense that everything should be tagged, no issues with the secret on that front