[ SECRET POST #6841 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6841 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 41 secrets from Secret Submission Post #977.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

da but I can say from personal experience that a LOT of people are willfully blind to what should be obvious red flags when someone is attractive/charming. Every time someone I've known has dated a guy who turned out to be a bad choice, all of the rest of us could see it WAY before the person dating him could.

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt - It's true that a lot of people miss red flags but "willfully" is... complicated. Some people are in denial, sure. Others simply don't grasp the seriousness of the situation or what those red flags mean, either because they lack experience* or because they're also getting a lot of societal and cultural feedback about how dodgy male behavior isn't that bad, or how jealousy means he really loves you, or stand by your man, or you should communicate better because if you just said it the right way he wouldn't be angry and he'd totally parent his own children instead of spending every weekend drinking with the guys, blah blah blah.

And then some men just do a better job of hiding their real selves until they feel they've got a woman locked down in marriage, pregnant, financially dependent on them, etc. Then the mask slips.

* And predators will target people who lack experience, people who are good hearted and want to believe the best in others, etc. It's deliberate.

[(Anonymous)]

This is dangerously close to victim-blaming, if it's not there already. Shame on you.

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt - Very common these days. I see a lot of women who might be actively trying to get out of an abusive relationship and struggling, and still getting blamed because "you should've chosen better" or because they had a bad "picker" so their poor judgment means they deserve the awful man they have. A lot of awful men say this, and a lot of women with internalized misogyny issues say it, too.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, that’s why you never hear anyone say “I just can’t believe it! He was such a great husband and father! How could he have killed his entire family?” Or “you liar! That pillar of the community would NEVER molest children.” It’s why rape convictions are so easy to obtain and no one ever doubts women who come forward with accusations. Because violent abusers are so transparently obvious while guys you can safely trust have visible halos.

Must be nice that you and your friends are such perfect judges of character unlike the rest of us willfully blind people. Insert largest eyeroll imaginable here.