[ SECRET POST #6884 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6884 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #983.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

“They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerate.

[(Anonymous)]

That's a quote from Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, by Lindsay Gibson. I haven't read it, but I saw the quote posted in a reddit comment thread and it hit kind of close to home. I grew up watching my parents act far more graciously and with consideration to total strangers and acquaintances than they did to their own kids. They're not evil people, but that sentence describes their behavior very aptly.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

I feel you nonny.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

I completely understand what you mean OP nonny.

Even now, it can be difficult to see my parents be more mindful and cordial with people who aren't their kids.

I also feel so sad when I see my friends' parents still be parents or be the caring, thoughtful sort of parents my parents have never and will never be like to their adult kids.
When I was younger, I simply did not take any of that stuff in, but now as an adult aware of how my relationship with my parents is? It's so hard to not want to project my damages onto those seemingly small things.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

Become a parent and your kids will find things to blame you for. Being an adult and still blaming the parents, imagine that.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

Why is it so difficult to imagine that OP would like their parents to respect their boundaries, to be polite to them, and to evince an interest in their life? It’s what any decent parent would do. If OP has parents that don’t do those things, it seems perfectly reasonable to regret the lack of a compassionate, caring, nurturing relationship.

Go outside, keyboard warrior, and step away from the computer. Goodness gracious.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

That sounds like something a shitty parent would say.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

says a shitty kid.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Who made them shitty?.....

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

They did. They post shitty comments because they're shitty despite their parents trying their best.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

LOL, look at you knowing everything about everyone, even anons. You should go play the lotto.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

According to your logic, abuse doesn't exist from parent to child.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

Isn't it weird how the people who lack empathy for the most vulnerable are the same wankstains who simp for authority?

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

Wait until some vulnerable shizo shoots you or hits you with their car.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

da

edgy, so much for the mature adult

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

The lady doth protest too much, methinks....

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

Anything but blaming yourself that your kids are estranged, huh, Karen?

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

Shame on you for making women named Karen feel bad. You have no ground to stand on as you're a shitty person.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

What are they blaming their parents for? They are describing their parents' actual behavior, which, as adults, their parents should be fine with taking responsibility for. Because that is what adults do, right? Take responsibility for the way you behave.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

They do not describe any details or actual behavior. Where did you get that from? They also didn't say anything about responsibility. It's like we read different posts.
Anyway, that's pathetic to do as an adult. People will bame parents regardless of what they do. Overprotective or too distant, chaotic or OCD. There's no doing it right for the pathetic man children.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Says the anon crashing out online over this.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

says the anon going to the post to be toxic.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

Great read, and yes, it does show how parents can be flawed even if they're not outright abusive/neglectful (though I suppose there are arguments to be made for some acts being abusive/neglectful).

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

I have noticed that there is a general tendency for people to have one of two ways they act with loved ones vs acquaintances and strangers.

1. They treat their loved ones best and are not as kind and considerate to strangers (this can vary from still being very kind to strangers but not on the same level as how they treat their family, to treating people they don't care about like dirt)

2. They spend their niceness and kindness on strangers and acquaintances and people they want to impress, and don't try as hard with their loved ones.

Like, to me, I try to be nice to everyone, but I give the best of myself to my loved ones. But I have encountered people who at best take their family and close friends for granted, however, they are always sweet and friendly to strangers and people they don't know as well. And it sucks to be on the receiving end of that, to feel like you are pouring yourself out for someone who doesn't appreciate it, doesn't care, and just expects you to tolerate them no matter how they treat you.

And of course there are those out there who treat their family like shit, and there are people who treat EVERYONE like shit.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

My parents have both been dead awhile, but I still remember my mom acting shocked that I did apparently have manners and act appropriately around strangers, and I was hurt that she thought I didn't normally... but of course I knew how to act (differently!) around strangers and acquaintances vs friends and family... so did she. Where else would I have learned?

And, much earlier, maybe even when I was still a toddler, I remember my dad roaring "where'd she fucking learn to swear?" at my mom, like, "oh golly gee dad, I dunno. Where did I fucking learn to swear?"

My parents weren't great, but they at least tried. They weren't monsters (mom's dad was, though.) But idk if they should've been parents, honestly.

Re: “They act as though being a parent exempts them from respecting boundaries or being considerat

[(Anonymous)]

This hits hard and I wish I couldn’t relate. I think in my case part of the issue is that I never shared their dreams for me and I have lived very far away most of my adult life. It makes me unknowable and so they just default to their sharpest memories of me, which happen to be when I was 5-12 years old. Those were the years they were around and involved the most. For my husband, his parents treat him as the age he was when he left home at 19. Maybe we’re outliers or maybe this is a common thing for boomer parents. Either way, it sucks.