[ SECRET POST #6888 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6888 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[NYTimes Connections & Only Connect]




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05. [WARNING for discussion of child abuse]




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06. [WARNING for discussion of abuse]

[Coco]























Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #983.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

03. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/6469128a8770.png

Transcript by OP

[fscom]

I never heard the term "maladaptive dreaming" until I was an adult. It's something I've done for as long as I can remember. I wouldn't say I had an excessively abusive childhood, but I wasn't a happy child and I've always found solace in daydreaming and making up stories in my head: rich fantasies about fictional characters I loved, and fictional worlds. I couldn't wait to go to bed at night so I could fall asleep to these stories. Every spare minute I had, I'd immediately jump into my dream worlds and dream stories. If I felt stressed or sad, I had an escape.

Then a few months ago, I just couldn't do it anymore.

I want to! I try to... but I can't make the dream stories happen the way I used to. They've lost their magic, the details that used to comfort me are blurry and lack substance.

I feel like I've been locked out of a fantasy world that has always been my sanctuary.

I just want to go back. But I don't know how.

Re: Transcript by OP

[(Anonymous)]

Same. Seems when you get too old you can't go back to Narnia - or wherever - any more. In my case it's due to ill health.

But I'm not sure why it's called "maladaptive dreaming". Seems like a very good adaption to me. Is painting maladaptive? Same thing, but with paint. Likewise music, or any art form. Or exercise which I'm constantly told is a panacea for all ills. Daydreaming is a useful skill. Taken to excess, not so useful, but the same can be said of anything. (chocolate.)

If you ever find your way back into the world of daydreaming, anon, do let us know how!

Re: Transcript by OP

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP

I'm under the impression it's called maladaptive because people escape to this instead of living their life. (Well, assuming that being an author of some kind 24/7 isn't what they want to do with life, but even then, the person would do something productive with all that daydreaming.) It's one thing to express oneself through art, since you're getting whatever's on your mind out on the canvas; daydreaming all the time just creates a world in your head that you never want to leave.

Re: Transcript by OP

[(Anonymous)]

Thank-you! I hadn't realised that it could get so all-consuming. I remember many a day when it's saved my bacon. Being too ill to read or scroll or watch anything, or even listen to audio, but having that internal narrative to entertain me has stopped me from going completely bonkers. But this last year, what with the cancer, the tooth infection and the gut infection (TMI) the whole phantom panorama has shut down. I presume I've gone into survival mode. The creativity is creeping back slowly but it's a hard process. Brains use a lot of energy. Bleh.

Re: Transcript by OP

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think it is actually maladaptive unless it gets in the way of your real life. I don't see a problem with having a world in your head as long as you manage your real life and it doesn't get in the way.

[(Anonymous)]

From my experience with imagination fatigue, one of two things has happened:

1) There is Unignorable Stress somewhere in your life and you can't escape into fantasy because your brain is busy working on the problem of the Stress. Although daydreaming / fantasising / imagining is considered stress relieving, it only really works when the stress you're experiencing is something that's reasonably familiar to you. Unignorable Stress can also mean a lack of socialisation, touch, or general human contact so if you've been isolating yourself, you really do need to start trying to get back out there.

1) Your brain has exhausted the dopamine it can squeeze out of your fantasies and you need fresh material. There's a reason authors are prolific readers; inspiration doesn't come from others and the novelty and ingenuity of others powers your own. Ideally, you'd also include new experiences as well as new media; going to a new cafe, trying a different route to a familiar place, trying out something like a massage or rollercoaster that really connects you to your body. By existing and enjoying what you can of reality, you'll give your imagination the fuel it needs to work again.

[(Anonymous)]

Sounds like you may be depressed.

[(Anonymous)]

This is a bogus secret.

[(Anonymous)]

Maladaptive daydreaming ruined my life.

[(Anonymous)]

I've been struggling with something similar, except instead of maladaptive daydreaming in a broad sense, it's shipping. Shipping has always been a major outlet and source of dopamine for me. I get really, really, REALLY into my OTPs for years at a time. But it's been two or three years now since the last time I felt intensely engaged with an OTP.

I always felt like my ships chose me. Now I feel like I'm trying to choose them and it's not really working. I'm just not getting the "OMG I'M OBSESSED WITH THEM HNNN" chemicals like I used to.

For a while I thought I was either depressed or just too old (and it could still be that), but I've recently discovered my free estrogen and free testosterone levels are crazy low, and probably dropped this low around three years ago, so now I'm thinking maybe that's got something to do with it.

[(Anonymous)]

I've been there. When the daydreaming stopped working, it was my mental and physical health that needed tending to. I'm still working on the recovery process, but I really needed to face some monumental issues I couldn't ignore anymore.

As a bit of a positive...looking back right now, I realized I'd gained enough strength to find new methods in dealing with my issues. I was no longer in survive mode, and I had to start working on some self preservation and genuine growth.

You don't lose the day dreaming forever. After I was able to grow and heal, working through a lot of setbacks, I've been able to return to some of my daydream worlds. I'm better at recognizing when I need to take care of life, and when I need some escapism.