[ SECRET POST #6909 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6909 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


01.




__________________________________________________



02.
[Jolly (YouTube)]



__________________________________________________




















03. [WARNING for discussion of eating disorders, probably]




__________________________________________________



04. [WARNING for discussion of trauma, etc]




__________________________________________________



05. [WARNING for discussion of child abuse]




























Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #986.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

04. [WARNING for discussion of trauma, etc]
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/8df5886500df.png

Transcript by OP

[fscom]

I am in a very small fandom community and lately there is this one member who keeps posting asking for help (trauma dumping at the same time) but when people offer help they always have an excuse why that won't work and get really aggressive and mean. I've refrained from replying but just the whole thing has soured the fun of the community for me.

I've avoided the community for a few weeks now and am kind of angry that I've let one person ruin my fun escapism but also kind of angry at that one person for ruining my fun escapism.

It's become an intrusive guilt cycle in my head and I just feel kind of dumb about the whole thing.

[(Anonymous)]

I had a friend like that. It might actually be good to distance yourself, but I wouldn't let them ruin fandom (if you can help it). Can you remove unfollow them on DW or tumblr or wherever you follow them? Block certain tags? Even skip tumblr/DW/wherever and stick to Ao3?

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah I've been there. Eventually I stopped engaging with the person, and they did try to rope me back in but I finally told them what my problem was. They got mad but we just never engaged with each other after that. A truce of sorts.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

There was that crazy anon here recently, pretending to be victim and then saying death wishes for no reason. That anon changed my perception on this topic. The older I become the more people I hate.

I do not believe in forgiving your enemies thing. What guilt, OP? Hit that complainer with something heavy. Say that they made you depressed, lie if you have to, out their bullshit in front of the others in fandom. The others would think you're an asshole but you'll know that you fought for the good. You didn't stay quite. Something like, 'oh so TheUser is trauma dumping again, I wish I could block them. Now I have to discuss it with my therapist. I'm so depressed seeing this person online, they always find reasons why they can't be helped, this comm is so joyless now, I'm in literal tears, I miss everybody so much, but I can't visit here because TheUser is making me so so sad' (dramatic music)

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

*cough*
Funny you mention that. I was one of the nonnies who tried to help that person days ago. Cue the psychotic ranting about hackers.

I agree with you. Never again. People can seek therapy on their own terms, not use online strangers as one.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt
yeah, it isn't worth the time or energy.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

1. Comments that are already posted cannot be hacked. Learn how websites work before becoming psychotic over it.
2. I don't have a DW account because FS and FFA are the only spaces I use. No account required. Unlike you, I'm on namespace on other social media like Twitter, Reddit, Tumblr, etc., instead of living in fear over imaginary hackers and refusing to speak to my therapist about it.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

No clue what FFA is.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

That comment thread transitioned from "Anon is depressed and feels lonely and comes to FS for comfort" to "Anon is ranting about utter nonsense and lashing out" so fast my head was spinning. I genuinely don't know if it was one person having an actual episode, or if some other anon decided that was a good opportunity to come in and troll, but it was truly wild when I came back the next day and saw the frozen comments.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

I don't have psychotic episodes.

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh, there's someone I know from fandom on socials and they're always asking for help/money, so I venmo'd them $40 and never heard shit back, not a thank you or "I got it" or anything. I know they got it.

It's soured me on people asking for money.

[bannedbookweek]

Honestly mute and/or block. They're not worth your trouble!

[paperghost]

I've been on both sides of this situation. I personally feel terrible for being "that person" 5 years ago, because it's really draining to deal with "bucket crabs" when you're already struggling. If someone's at a point where every advice gets a "but -" and reason why that's impossible, they just want to be miserable and have people pity them. Again, speaking from experience.

I don't know if this social media tag or a Discord server (etc.), but if there's a way you can participate and ignore/mute that person, or only engage with them when they're not complaining, I'd do that. (Or discuss privately with a mod or other users.) Having people literally just talk to me about other things (fandom, art, jokes) helped pull me out of bad situations, not constantly venting and blowing off advice.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

https://fandomsecrets.dreamwidth.org/3315823.html?thread=1148973935#cmt1148973935

Advice was given. You didn't take it.

(frozen comment)

[iff_and_xor]

Holy fuck, did that take a turn for the worse after I left. Starting to think I miss a lot of stuff that happens here after my usual hours.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

there are lots of bullies in this forum that pick on hurt people.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

That has got to be some kind of troll performance art. I refuse to believe otherwise, it is just too weird.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Everyone was being very kind and friendly until anon suddenly started lashing out and insulting the people replying to them. Even after that people tried to give kind advice. I don't know what is going on for them or if they are trolling but they sometimes seem determined to see the worst in everyone.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Says the person posting anon and not from a member account.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

DA
But don't you know? Eeyore anon is being cyberstalked by this Electronic Foundation, and just conveniently can't make an account ANYWHERE without getting "hacked"! Not even on DW, where they could add friends and vent privately! Nothing is ever their fault!

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Why are you lying?

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

Who are you replying to?