fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1046 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1046 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

THIS goes into effect starting with Submissions Post 151, as secrets were posted before the poll went up last week.

Secrets Left to Post: 15 pages, 353 secrets from Secret Submission Post #150.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2- not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [
1 2 3 4 5 6 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sorry to the men in this thread, but if this secret wasn't made by a butthurt dude, I will seriously eat my hat.

That's a possibility. It's also entirely possible it was made by some 17-year-old girl whose adolescence has been largely shaped by radical Third Wave feminists. (I would say it's entirely possible it was made by a rape victim, but it doesn't seem to read that way.)

My bet would be "seventeen year old girl who, until recently, didn't know anything about rape." Maybe it's because she was extremely sheltered, or maybe she believed that only whores got raped, I don't know. But now all the discussion of rape in certain parts of fandom have made her realize that, oh no, rape is real. And, even worse, it happens to normal, nice women who have done nothing to deserve it. So she's gone to the opposite extreme: instead of rape being invisible, now it's all she sees. Instead of demonizing the victims of rape, she's going to demonize all men by characterizing them as potential rapists.

Hopefully she'll settle down and develop a healthier, more moderate attitude toward rape.

Instead of demonizing the victims of rape, she's going to demonize all men by characterizing them as potential rapists.

Isn't it sad that only two possibilities can be seen? And that they're THESE? Goddamn, why leave the house?

Wait. It's okay to demonize victims of rape?

Obviously, we'd rather blame the women then blame the culprits.

I'm not saying it's okay to stereotype all men, because it's not. But I'd sure as hell rather a scared teenage girl be terrified and judgmental toward men than have them scorn the victims of rape.

That's just like people who say that she deserved it because she was leading him on or something.

I was trying to explain the OPs attitude, not condone it. Our society has a history of blaming the victims of rape and a lot of people (male and female) buy into it. I think that until recently, the OP was one of those people. But all the discussion of rape happening in certain parts of fandom have made it very, very clear that it can happen to anyone, and that being a "good" girl won't necessarily prevent it. Now she's gone to the opposite extreme and become incredibly fearful of men. But I don't think that's going to keep her safe. In fact, that belief is just a variation on the idea that rape is a woman's fault. If you by avoiding men will guarantee that you're never raped, then all those women who trusted men must be, partially at fault, right? Rape is always the attackers fault, and putting any responsibility on the victim is wrong.

So her fear may not keep her safe. What it will do is make her feel scared all the time, which is no way to lead your life. Ultimately, this attitude is not going to help her, and it will probably end up hurting her. Obviously, she shouldn't ignore rape, and no one should trust people implicitly. But there is a middle ground and I think that the OP would be much happier if she found it.

The best lesson she (or anyone else, for that matter) could learn, imo, is that rape can happen to anybody and that, if it happens to her, it's not her fault. And that she's not alone, that there are other people who she could talk to. That her life isn't over and that recovery is possible.

Sorry if my previous comment was unclear.

[ SECRET POST #1046 ]

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