[ SECRET POST #103 ]

[grayout.livejournal.com]

⌈ Secret Post #103 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Early'causeI'mgonnagodienowbye. D:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 35 secrets from Secret Submission Post #015.
Secrets Not Posted: [1] broken links, 0 not!secrets, 0 not!fandom, [1] breaks px limit.
Next Secret Post: Tomorrow, Thursday, April 18th, 2007.
Current Secret Submission Post: Here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

1

[tsurugi.livejournal.com]

ME TOO. Oh the pain.

[bedlam14.livejournal.com]

#10.... that sounds really creepy. Like, almost scary. I'd hate it if someone did that to me. My advice would be to flee the fandom, but you sound very attached, and besides- I wouldn't do it...
Maybe you should just straight out talk to this person? Say that it really kind of made you nervous?
In all reality, there's not much this person can do to you, after all.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm completely in love with the fandom, and very involved. And yes she can- humiliation comes to mind.
If i talk to her she'll just say that she only wants to keep up with the gossip.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds it incredibly creepy.

[bedlam14.livejournal.com]

Well... Yeah, I kind of figured that you couldn't drop out. As for humiliation- why don't you make a very, very public post on how she's really creeping you out?
Doing so would insure that everyone would be aware that any harmful actions on her part towards you are pure retaliation. An insurance policy, if you will.
The fact is that 'keeping up on the gossip' isn't what she's doing, she's... I dunno'... monitoring? the fandom. That's like someone hiding in the bushes and listening to people talk, not walking up and joining in the conversation.
For evidence, you could point to this convo~ I don't even know what fandom you peeps are in or who you are, but I think it's pretty skeevy.

[(Anonymous)]

She's the admin of the forum. I'm the co admin. Basically, I'm screwed. She hates slash for example, and she... reacts to it. Like, she says she doesn't care what we're doing, but she's also all 'ewwwww!!!' about it, thinks it's perverted (even though it's practically canon) and she says it's mean of us to do that to the actors/characters, and sort of an attack on them. She also hates anything too angsty. There was a suicide fic, and though it was really sad and I didn't like reading it, and didn't agree with the characterisation of that story, I didn't mind that it was written. She (and a few other people) was all 'this is an insult!' (She *has* been getting better at just reading and saying 'well, I don't agree that this would ever happen' rather than freaking out) And she also doesn't like how some of us see the characters as deeper than they're sometimes portrayed, and we come up with backstory possibilities and that. She likes seeing things at face value. And thinks we're sort of dumb for it. She doesn't often *express* this. Which is why we then go and do it where she doesn't hang out... Or, shouldn't be hanging out. The idea of secretly judging is why I'm all now worried that she's all secretly judging us... Even though I know everyone judges everyone else anyway... *sigh* argh I'm confused.
But basically, some people are there to enjoy 'as is' and some of us are there and just naturally gravitate towards expanding our views of it, writing fanfiction, etc, (the fandom isn't just fanfiction, it's also just discussing the canon) and we have so much fun doing it... but she doesn't like it, though she 'tolerates' it.
I can't really post in public and say about it, because it'd start some sort of civil war.
And yeah, it seems like monitoring to me, but she claims she's just wanting to have conversations about the canon stuff... because it is very obscure, and I can see her curiousity with wanting to know where other people are talking about it, but argh. Creepy. It's like someone being curious about what their children are saying, so instead of just wondering, or asking, or being told, they tap their phone and sneak into email accounts.

Also the thing is- this is a fandom with practically no drama in it at all. Friendly disagreements about random stuff where people just agree to disagree. A lot of love and friendship. I'm the only one who knows about this google thing, as far as I know. So it's not like it's worth making a big fuss over I think. I'm probably just overreacting. :( it just gives me stage fright. And I needed to vent.

[bedlam14.livejournal.com]

Gahhhhh... that is a really tricky spot to be in. Well... As for her 'I just want to be up on the theories' thing versus her (sounds like blatant) disapproval of various fandom theories... It contradicts itself, doesn't it? Whether or not you like it, people are going to do what they want. It's not your fandom, or your friends'- it's everyone's, and by GOD if that means furries invade and space alien suicide cutters come about, oh well. >.>
Your friend could choose to just stay away from that half of the fandom if she wanted, I wager. No matter how small the fandom (and by jove, I've been in fandoms three people large!), you can always ignore what you're not interested in.
As for not wanting her to judge you... well, everyone judges everyone, don't they? I think this is one of those important fandom things you'll have to face- your friend is having to learn proper fandom socialization, and you're having to learn not to worry so much about what other people think. It's hard, I know, but if you think about how everyone else has to learn things too, maybe that will encourage you!
If she wants to have conversations about 'canon stuff', she should ask people, not stalk their threads. That's just my arrogant analysis, though, so meh....
As for your fandom (I'm kind of curious at this point as to what it is #^__^#) not having any drama, is it the kind of peace harboring tension or is it genuine peace? You might not be the only person that feels this way about your co-mod.

[(Anonymous)]

yes, it is very tricky. *sigh*. And yep, it's very blatant. She's always like "Can't we just enjoy it for what it is?" and others are like yeah, you can enjoy it for what it is, we don't mind, but we'd like to analyse it thanks, and we should be allowed to! If it does get invaded by constant dark fics and abuse and rape and furries (... which i just realised could totally happen if someone got creative with plotbunnies omg...) well, then I wouldn't care, as long as I was still allowed to do what I want to do, and have some people to do it with. :) I agree. It's not my fandom. But it's not hers either, which means that we should be allowed to do what we want without being told off for it. And yep, I guess I'm sort of judging her for her thoughts about it... but... at least I don't follow her around to do it!
I think I'll just have to try and not care what she thinks. It's been driving me crazy not being able to talk about it properly for months because I've been freaking out.
Well, the 'drama' is that half of us think the other half is a bit blind, and they think we're a bit over analytical. :P But we decided that everyone is a fan so it doesn't matter. Honestly, the only non personal drama (people having different levels/types of enjoyment of the canon doesn't count as drama) I can think of is occasional debates about 'what do you think this scene meant?' and who is hottest. haha. Which of course doesn't really matter at all. I think most people don't notice the problems with her. And that's not fandom problem, it's more a personal issue with her.
And, I'd love to tell you what the fandom is, but I can't really without 'outing' who I am, or getting her sent a google alert that I've said the name of it. hah.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh and, I *am* sort of friends with her, it's not like I hate her or something. I think that could be part of why I'm bothered. Because I don't *want* her to be judging me. I just don't feel brave enough to talk to her about the google stalking. Because she'll think I'm just being ultra paranoid and I really don't want to cause drama unneccessarily.

[bedlam14.livejournal.com]

Well, I never thought you hated her, but at the same time, friends have to set limits. I understand your lack of a desire for a fandom!war, though.
If she's the kind of person that's always judging everyone, though... is she a good friend, then? I used to have a really close friend that really just kind of... looked down her nose... at anyone that disagreed with her theories or tastes. We're still friends, but we're not so close anymore.
I don't know if your friend is like that at all, though, so!

[kinneas.livejournal.com]

I think you should tell her to just piss off, but then I'm hotheaded and don't put up with shit.

Seriously, though, it sounds like she has control issues.

[anna-chronism.livejournal.com]

13. Um... is there fic for that?

[dearweatherby.livejournal.com]

No. o_o; XD But I RP it. *_*

[dearweatherby.livejournal.com]

;D Call me.

[lostremnant.livejournal.com]

1. I don't really cry but I definately feel an emotional letdown. It's understandable, you immerse yourself in the storyline of some characters and then suddenly it's all over.

3. I've written only a couple of what I would define as drabbles but I still feel guilty. I feel like somehow I'm cheating people which really doesn't make any sense.

8. Try not to hold it against her. I've read stories that have treated beloved characters horribly as well but I tell myself that it's all just fiction so I don't have to take what they wrote seriously. Of course I'm assuming that it was the plot that bothered you and not the quality of the writing.

11. I'm older than 30 and I like anime. And I know people who are older than me who are fans of anime so don't sweat it.

14. lol, Case the hostsite has zapped this image.

[riotjunkie.livejournal.com]

14. Yeah, but I'm lazy. >>" /also too lazy to switch rp journals

[(Anonymous)]

Re: 8 - I think I know which fic it is. And yeah, it upset me, too, because it was so sad - but the fact that I was getting upset over something that happened to a fictional character just testifies to the quality of the writing.

[xreddestinyx.livejournal.com]

16. Botan for the win! She's just... Botan, dude. She's awesome.

[longlongwaytogo.livejournal.com]

I don't have much to say today, other than yay! Some non anime/manga secrets! :D

# 11

[(Anonymous)]

Almost turning 34 years and I'm also an anime fan. You're not alone, and it's nothing to be ashamed of!

1

[zhoutaisdayoff.livejournal.com]

I don't think I ever cried much after games I've played and beaten. There are a few though. Like Wolf's Rain (though most of that anime's made me cry), Onimusha 3 Demon Siege (a very brilliant to a well-written trilogy), Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic (a heaping amount of character developement that makes you relate to all the characters on some level - even the Mandalorian mercenary, Canderous has a sob story to relate to), Rogue Galaxy (only because of it was so atrocious. A seven hour final boss fight that could very well rival the final Kefka fight of FFVI and they RUIN it with something that Level 5 got out of FFX. There was no real conclusion for most of the characters.)

....erm. Sorry, I rambled on there. =P

[stormbringer986.livejournal.com]

3. A lot of my fandoms are overrun with drabbles, so I feel your pain. I'd love to find a good fanfic with more than 100 words, but it seems impossible sometimes (because they're also overrun with Sues).
That doesn't stop me from reading the drabbles though. I'll take anything I can get if it's well-written and has a pairing I like.

[lorei.livejournal.com]

1. I do too D:

13. OMG YES.

16. Botan is the shit :D

[samuraiter.livejournal.com]

To #11: I'm not that far behind you, and ... you know what? The older I get, the more I like it! Don't feel bad. Before long, there'll be a lot of folks like us.

[snarky-kat.livejournal.com]

15. Oh HELL yes.

16

[akai_senshi.livejournal.com]

Damn right! I personally would hate to be on the wrong end of her oar!