[ SECRET POST #6955 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6955 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Yuri!!! on Ice]

























Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 23 secrets from Secret Submission Post #993.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

05. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/d872dfebb2f2.png

Transcript by OP

[fscom]

I'm just not very sexually adventurous, and I'm sick of the rest of fandom trying to shame me for that.

[tabaqui]

Who is shaming you? I'm sorry that's happening but...that's something I can't say I've ever really seen in fandom. Getting on people FOR kinks, yes, but lack of kinks? Hrmmm....

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, my first reaction was to associate this with the purity culture people who feel attacked or shamed for being straight or not liking smut in their fic but really nobody cares, they're just catering to them. But I thought that was a maybe not very nice take so I'm going to err on the side of believing OP, it's just genuinely not something I've seen in my spaces in fandom.

[philstar22]

I've seen it in some fandoms, I've also seen the reverse of shaming more extreme kinks. Some fandoms are really, really vanilla and others are really, really kinky. It seems like in general people who go against the general trends of a particular fandom are more likely to be shamed.

[tabaqui]

I feel like...people are only going to shame you, if they're going to do it, if you're telling them you're not into...whatever. So if your fandom is very vanilla, nobody is going to care about your lack of sexual hijinks, and if your fandom is super kinky...well...maybe just move on? I dunno. I just have not seen anyone being randomly shame for their lack of kinks unless they were super-loud about it in weird places.

[(Anonymous)]

I'd be more likely to believe OP if they had said 'my fandom' and not 'the rest of fandom' as a whole lol

[(Anonymous)]

I was going to say. I've had people side-eye me for some of the kinks I enjoy reading but I've never once had anyone look at me funny for looking for plain vanilla smut.

[(Anonymous)]

It's the vibe of "get on our level" or "aw that's so cute bless your heart"

Not nearly as nasty or up front as kink shaming, more condescending

[(Anonymous)]

I'm interested in what shaming OP has experienced. Not that I think they're wrong, but I have genuinely never experienced or witnessed it. But I also don't hang around in circles that do a lot of shaming in general.

[(Anonymous)]

TMI maybe but I'm not at all sexually adventurous either. But I do read a lot of various sex types and adventurous in fic. I don't think I've ever talked about my actual sexual life in fandom, I tend to mainly stick to fandom and characters and leave out my real life stuff.

[(Anonymous)]

whenever someone walks in claiming 'all of the rest of fandom, the single-minded monolith' is bullying them, in particular, for their poor little innocent statement or common stance they present as totally harmless... unlike all the other thousands of people who have exact stated the same thing where nobody batted an eye...

yeah... I assume the first person is obliviously shaming others or phrasing things in such a way as to trigger backlash

[(Anonymous)]

or it's self-inflicted, as in the person chooses to feel shame despite no one actively doing anything to call it to them. I've seen people being shitty and then woe-is-meing afterward, but I've also seen people literally interpret something that has nothing to do with them as being mean specifically to them.

[(Anonymous)]

That is totally valid and no one should shame you for your tastes, we are all here to have fun. I'm curious though what the fandom is and what type of shaming you've been running into, is it like, a fandom where a certain kink like omegaverse is super popular or something? Do people take lack of interest as criticism in your fandom or are you possibly doing anything to start drama? Are you talking about general shaming attitudes from rude BNFs? None of that excuses the shaming, just wondering if your experience could be improved by blocking certain people.

[(Anonymous)]

The pic choice is making me giggle.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I feel the same way. Although I'm mainly sensitive because being "vanilla" was something a toxic ex that messed me up complained about. I don't air out my preferences or judge others, but it stings when I see people post things like "you're weak of you don't like [kink/sex act/trope]"
Like damn, maybe so.

[(Anonymous)]

So.... is the entirety of fandom stalking you to know that you don't read kinky fic? Or are you making an issue out of it to kinksters who then respond appropriately?

[(Anonymous)]

I've been in fandom spaces where skewing more towards vanilla sex can be looked down on. It's seen as being basic or immature. It's not edgy enough for all the Cool fandomers.
Kinda like in middle school where people tried to prove that they were sex experts by naming off sexual positions or sex acts as if that alone is proof of sexual maturity.

TBH I've seen weird kink shaming that lean hard one way or another.
"I'm not here to read boring fluffy vanilla sex that only puriteens like."
"I don't want to read BDSM fics, only messed up people are turned on by that stuff."