[ SECRET POST #6956 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6956 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


01.
[Zenless Zone Zero / Uma Musume]



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03.
[Pluribus]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 14 secrets from Secret Submission Post #993.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: When you love your relatives, but you don't LIKE your relatives...

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I definitely have a similar experience with my family. It's not malicious, this distance/lack of closeness, but I know I'm more of a cardboard cutout to my family than a real person. So I show up as the cardboard they need.
It's just painful sometimes having to be the cardboard cutout, and I don't begrudge anyone for needing to vent about their own family. I really identified with the guilt of feeling relieved when they pass one day.
I know I will be really sad when they die one day (my mom especially), but at the same time, there's a sense of freedom I'm aware I will gain. I won't have to be the cardboard cutout anymore. But it comes at the cost of no longer having people I love around, hence the guilt lmao

Re: When you love your relatives, but you don't LIKE your relatives...

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, you get it. People who don't have (or don't notice) complicated family dynamics often don't understand. Grief is already such a nuanced, complex process when you lose someone you love. When you lose someone you love, but who also caused you a great deal of pain and didn't treat you well, that's even more complicated and you feel all sorts of conflicting emotions that it's difficult to talk about because you get shamed for it.

My parents had a lot of expectations of how I'd turn out that didn't end up coming true, and they've really struggled to let go of those expectations. Trying to control me is part of that, and physical distance helps a lot. They've been able to reach some hard-won level of peace that probably doesn't look very peaceful to outsiders, simply because they cannot monitor what I do 24/7, criticize it, or pressure me to do what they want. That's my boundary, and it's helped our relationship a lot even if they don't realize it. All the patient talking and communication couldn't accomplish what me moving out of the house did.

Still, it's a lot of work and it's tiring. I envy people who don't have to work so hard to manage their family relationships. But some people who aren't familiar with this lack frequently the empathy needed to understand those who are.