[ SECRET POST #6960 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6960 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[A cruel prince]

























Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 23 secrets from Secret Submission Post #994.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: What is the dumbest, pettiest, most pointless argument you have seen someone insist on?

[(Anonymous)]

Fandom - larping

So there was this guy who didn't understand why American larps* were so obsessed with getting consent** for physical contact.*** At his larp he would and carry people off the battle field and hug and grab and whatever! Sure he'd get an 'ok' before he went for a kiss or something, but why were Americans so uptight?

I tried to get across that someone picking me up would scare the shit out of me. That unwanted hugs are really unpleasant. That plenty of bad actors have used game mechanics and the social openness of a niche group to grope other players. That these rules have been built up to ensure everyone feels comfortable playing.

He insisted that no one who played his game ever had ulterior motives for touching people. And that if anyone *were* uncomfortable they could stand up before/after a game and tell everyone their limits.

I pointed out that 1) unless he's doing background checks before each game he can't know that****, and 2) standing up like that in front of a group, especially as a new player, is intimidating. So if his group has no problems with their degree of physicality it's because they've driven off anyone who did.

He concluded that American larpers are all wimps or rapists for putting so much focus on this issue.

I just hope his game is upfront about the expected tolerated level of physical contact.

Tons of other posters (yes this was reddit) had stories about how someone grabbing/touching them during a game was unpleasant and he just kept going "Not in my group, it's fine!"

*Not all are, but I guess we're making the most noise about it from this guy's perspective
**The phrase "Do you consent to physical role play" was big for a while but now it's moved to "Shall we shake on it?" or "Would you like a hug?" or :out of game symbol: "May I shake you by the shoulders?" with an understanding that everyone can say no and/or that we can agree our characters did things that we didn't actually do (re: shaking)
***Players can also talk to each other and set boundaries before/out of game. For example: My husband (while playing my character's husband) can kiss me/my character, when he's not playing my character's husband he can tap my shoulder and we can hug/kiss out of character. My friend of 10 years can grab/move me however a scene might require. Folks I know can tap my shoulder or back to get my attention when it's loud. Absolutely no one may touch my hat <3
****And even then, not really! Plenty of creeps never break the law.

Re: What is the dumbest, pettiest, most pointless argument you have seen someone insist on?

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh, wow. Does he not live in the real world with the rest of us?? Because in the world *I* live in, there are, unfortunately, predators in literally every demographic and every large-enough grouping of people. There are ALWAYS people who are going to look for a way to be gross and creepy and inappropriate. I, too, would be really scared and uncomfortable with that behavior. I guarantee there are plenty of people in that guy's orbit who don't like his behavior, but they don't want to make waves about it.