Case (
case) wrote in
fandomsecrets2026-01-27 06:50 pm
[ SECRET POST #6962 ]
⌈ Secret Post #6962 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #994.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Transcript by OP
I grew up in a conservative area, and online yaoi fandom was my means of understanding and accepting even my own homosexuality back then. Same with gender bending kinks and crossdressing, only to crack the egg.
Secret because fetishization is still seen as a sign of bigotry, especially with weirdos who can't accept sexuality except when it debases people they demand be beneath them.
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(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 12:05 am (UTC)(link)+1
(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 12:19 am (UTC)(link)Re: +1
(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 12:25 am (UTC)(link)Which sure, happens, but still absolutely doesn't make it a reasonable thing to assume a person who fetishizes X thing is or want to be X thing in general. Cishet men with a big ol' titties fetish do not, in fact, wish they had breasts IRL
Re: +1
(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 01:44 am (UTC)(link)I'm curious about the monster bit though. Maybe it was OP lamenting about Sasquatch the other day. They were sad there were no cryptids in their area they could seek out and bang. lol
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(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 12:08 am (UTC)(link)You can volunteer to hang around that grenade and pray it's a dud, but I won't be.
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(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 12:58 am (UTC)(link)No one needs to be happy about it, but I think that looking back through the history of various groups’ depictions, it’s often somewhere along the way to progress.
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(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 01:13 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 01:40 am (UTC)(link)This was in the 90-2000's, so maybe our timelines vary.
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(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 02:47 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 03:44 am (UTC)(link)Ah, different circles then. tbh my sister would know more. Back when ff.net had forums she modded a couple of them and actually talked some people through their homophobia. She's still friends with a couple, one girl in particular who later realized she liked women and most of her ire was internalized.
I just read anything and everything I could get my hands on, mostly yaoi, and while I didn't socialize much, I definitely think I'd remember if it mentioned in a fic/profile if they didn't approve irl. But I absolutely agree most of the hate, especially the religious sort, were all from americans. Sorry people threatened you as well, it was almost normalized but never a good time for sure.
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(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 03:56 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 06:26 am (UTC)(link)I can definitely see that sort of build in popularity having that sort of backlash for sure. I remember there being a lot of general phobia around that time too. Even though 2007 feels so late, I think it was a few years after gay people were given a lot of the same rights, (marriage, etc,) in the states especially, so the loudness would definitely come from a mix angry people just being assholes. Still, I hate that it was still happening in an area like fic and fandom.
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(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 02:48 am (UTC)(link)I definitely saw people in the 90s write slash and have a disclaimer that they didn't support gays in real life. They were the minority, though, of an already minority community.
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(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 03:00 am (UTC)(link)Yep you are right, they existed, and homophobic slash writer were a rarity even back then. I have no idea why people nowadays say it was pretty common. It wasn't.
Maybe they wrote insensitive and borderline fetishising stuff, sure, but they weren't overtly homophobic and most people even supported gay marriage when it was mostly a mirage back then.
They were absolutely no more homophobic than the general population of the time. Let's remember that the 90s and 00s were not great decades for gay rights or any sensitivity toward minorities.
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(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 05:53 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 07:54 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 11:46 am (UTC)(link)For some people I think sexualising different people from them can help them discover things about themselves.
And for some it’s going to be an othering kink where they’re not considering the people they’re kinking on as actual people.
And I don’t think there’ll be a quick way you can tell where someone is on the scale without interacting with them. That said I don’t assume someone is like the latter without good reason, but I have met them across my life and they’re always gross to interact with.
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(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 03:06 pm (UTC)(link)I could have sworn years ago I saw a headline that there have been research where the liberation of porn on the internet has influenced some people to be more open to the LGBTQIA+ community.
But again, I'm aware that people who fetishize certain groups, it actually can make them think less of those groups and dehumanize them.
Like men who fetishize trans women but will unironically watch Dave Chapelle and Ricky Gervais comedy shows.
It's not one or the other, but it does open up avenues for change.
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(Anonymous) 2026-01-28 04:23 pm (UTC)(link)There's a leagues different from like, open minded guys who like women regardless of genitals, and trans chasers who see trans women as "the best of both worlds" or "have the libido of a guy" (yes, I've actually heard this) while not seeing them as women worth anything more than a "freaky" hookup.