[ SECRET POST #6997 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6997 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[The Last DJ / Global Shuffle Dance Music @ Youtube]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 22 secrets from Secret Submission Post #999.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Personal question: do you have a good relationship with your parents?

[(Anonymous)]

These days, yes. We did not have a good relationship from the time I was eleven to the time I was about thirty, mostly because my mother was incredibly focused on my weight (I was taller and heavier than her at eleven, she even got angry that my shoe size was bigger than hers). I wasn't even fat until her constant bullying and forced dieting led me right into a binge eating disorder. Then I got cancer and the most important thing was still my weight. My dad never personally addressed my weight in any way but also backed her up completely.

Once I was past the cancer, I realized that if I wanted any relationship with her, I had to train her out of talking about weight. So I did, by redirecting when she started, and then leaving or hanging up the phone if she continued. And it eventually worked. So now we can focus on the other parts of our relationship and it's vastly better.

Re: Personal question: do you have a good relationship with your parents?

[(Anonymous)]

So sorry that happened to you and hope you are doing well after your cancer. My mother was obsessive about my weight too, it really damaged my self esteem and was a factor in me developing an ED that took a lot of work to heal from. I think she was a very insecure person projecting her body issues on to me. Glad your redirecting tactic worked to put a stop to it in your case.

Re: Personal question: do you have a good relationship with your parents?

[(Anonymous)]

A lot of mothers have that internalized misogyny programmed into them, sadly. My mother also harped on my weight from the time I was a pre-teen up until I moved out. I, too, was taller and more heavily built than her. My bra size was larger than hers from age 13 onwards, and she just couldn't believe that was right. She didn't want me wearing bright colors because that brought too much attention to the fact that I was chubbier than she'd like. But I couldn't wear black because that was too depressing. No baggy clothing because that made me look fatter, but if the clothing was too tight then it revealed that I didn't have a defined waistline. If she had it her way, I would've worn pastels and vertical stripes (to help me look thinner!) all my life. I was on a diet from age 10 onwards. Only me, everyone else in the house was allowed the regular version of foods, I got diet this and fat free that, or nothing if she deemed it too fattening. My dad (who ate junk food never saw a vegetable he liked) didn't speak up about this at all.

I didn't develop an eating disorder, surprisingly enough. But not for lack of pressure on my mother's part. She was only trying to help me, because it's not healthy to be fat, and of course, girls should be slender. She thought I should've been grateful for her help.

Re: Personal question: do you have a good relationship with your parents?

[(Anonymous)]

This kind of thing makes me so mad!

I didn't know how good I had it as a teenager who was bigger and taller than my mom; she never said anything negative about my appearance. (I'm still chubby; always have been that way, but I'm healthy, and I dont care if I'm not thin, lol.)

She does nag me about cutting my hair, because she thinks it looks better short. That's just her generation's preference, though.