[ SECRET POST #7020 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #7020 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 08 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1001.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

05. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/e3dfe34b0f22.png

Transcript by OP

[fscom]

Mutual fandom friends got me interested in watching Heated Rivalry, so I decided to and had some fun with it.

The issue is that I unfortunately ended up just not vibing with the main couple because Ilya reminds me far too much of the first few guys I dated that I ended up hating him and by extension I just wanted Shane to leave his emotionally unavailable ass out in the cold. Don't get me wrong I get that it's fiction and other queer dudes are going to enjoy the fantasy of the fuckboi actually retuning the feelings. It just didn't work for me sadly.

Discussing this outside of my mutuals has been a hilariously depressing venture because most of the, presumably, women I've interacted with have instantly accused me of being a homophobic straight woman(neither thanks!) because I can't stand Ilya, and when I have explained that I am in fact a queer dude have gotten neither an apology for their assumptions or a retraction of their accusation, instead I've been getting 2010's queer dude culture explained to me like I wasn't literally there. It's been wild.

[feotakahari]

I don't watch this, but it sounds like an issue I describe as "Do you really want to date Batman?"

[(Anonymous)]

How are you saying it? Because I've had some shows that I can't get into because of personal issues and I never really get pushback when I say something like, "Yeah, I can't really watch Ilya, he reminds me too much of my asshole ex."

[(Anonymous)]

OP of comment secret.

"He reminds me of the guys I first dated, so I don't like him." Was how I'd say it and you'd think I'd just murdered their pet in front of them, sorry to say some fans of this show really can't handle anything but blind adoration of it and won't hear any differing opinions.

It's not most, and I've met plenty of nice fans now, but it has been painful to find people who don't immediately dismiss my thoughts as some "straight woman bullshit" because I don't agree with them. I don't blame them for not knowing I'm a guy, but I do get to be irritated at my own experiences being dismissed and insulted because I'm not saying what they want to hear.

[(Anonymous)]

DA
Even if you were a straight woman, you are allowed just not to like the character who reminds you of your ex.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT.

Hell people are allowed to just not like characters without a deeper reasoning. Sometimes a fictional character irritates me for no easily discernable reason but that doesn't make the irritation less real to me. They're also not real, hate away.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, like I understand people being annoyed at you bushing their favourite character. But "I don't vibe with this, sorry" should be damn enough

[(Anonymous)]

+1

Queer dude also, I wouldn't take it as homophobic if a straight woman said that about gay characters... I randomly dislike characters who remind me of people all the time.

I still haven't seen Heated Rivalry, this secret has me curious about whether I'd like the characters myself.

[(Anonymous)]

OP.

You might! The dude unfortunately just brought back a lot of bad memories for me so I spent the time thinking “get fucked” in my head. But I also know several queer men who’ve liked it because it was fun or it gave them the fantasy of the fuckboi actually having feelings. (and also being any good at sex but that’s another can of worms lmaoooo)

So I’d say YMMV and give it a try, I’m just saying be gay dude after all and we’re all gonna have different thoughts.

[(Anonymous)]

OP again.

*I’m just one gay dude.

Autocorrect is a fucker man.

[(Anonymous)]

Ooof, yeah some people really can't handle it when you don't like something the same way they do. It's taken as some kind of personal attack when 'I didn't like it' or 'it reminded me of something personal so I didn't like it' are perfectly fine statements that are not in fact implying that people who do like it are wrong or bad.

[(Anonymous)]

I had an abusive ex who was a meth head so I won't watch anything with meth heads and I'm sick of people bugging me to watch Breaking Bad.

[(Anonymous)]

You say they didn't know you were a gay dude. So how do you know they were straight women?

I would expect most fans in particular fandom spaces for Heated Rivalry to be women, but refrain from assuming unless they said so. I would, however assume most of them were bi or lesbian. Straight women liking m/m enough to be in fandom for it is actually very rare.

[(Anonymous)]

OP.

I didn’t say straight woman, I said woman by itself because as a queer person in fandom I do know that there are a lot of queer women in fandom. Doesn’t stop them trying to explain queer dude culture at me though. But hey.

And yes there are still a lot of straight women into fandom for m/m, that’s always been true. How many is hard to say but it’s not none.

[(Anonymous)]

Bro this is me but with some characters of the L world and other queer wlw shows, basically.
I feel you. Fandom and queer spaces (because I reckon most of the women trying to explaining "gay dude" to you are queer, at least in my experience) can be strange and alienating, sometimes... Maybe it's better to leave the heated rivarly fandom alone, for your sake. I try not to interact with those wlw media fandom that I don't vibe with aside from commenting them with my IRL friends. They can get me and the context surrounding my taste, but internet strangers... OH BOY. they are intense and not that open to confrontation.
It is what it is. Not every space is for everyone all the time.

BTW I'm a lesbian and I like Ilya as a character to explore internalised homophobia, plus I generally vibe with "problematic" queer people in media, but were I to meet someone like him IRL (both a male and female version, honestly) I would run away so fast.