Hmm. This is a weird one for me. On the one hand, I pretty much couldn't care less about antis or being kink-shamed or judged for stuff I like. Even if the thing I like is something I feel a little bit silly or insecure about, as soon as someone who is not me judges me for it I'm like, "Ah, right, this person is a judgemental asshole, no need to care what they think."
But OTOH, I'm annoyingly sensitive when it comes to people responding with hostility or judgement to something I've said when I've sincerely tried to express myself. I think maybe part of it is that I tend to assume everyone approaches communicating with others the same way I do, with a sincere desire to understand what the other person is trying to express, and to not read anything into what they've said that isn't definitely there. So when someone has a really hostile or bad-faith response to something I've said, I don't have very good natural defences against that. My instinct is to give the other person's response more credence than it necessarily deserves, and wonder what I said to cause them to respond that way. I've had to work at mitigating that mindset.
Possibly I also have some formative baggage about neglect and not being listened to, so now when people don't genuinely engage with what I say it plays into that sensitivity. Whereas neither of my parents were judgemental about the stuff I enjoyed or was interested in as a kid, so nothing in me is primed to take that kind of judgement from others seriously.
no subject
But OTOH, I'm annoyingly sensitive when it comes to people responding with hostility or judgement to something I've said when I've sincerely tried to express myself. I think maybe part of it is that I tend to assume everyone approaches communicating with others the same way I do, with a sincere desire to understand what the other person is trying to express, and to not read anything into what they've said that isn't definitely there. So when someone has a really hostile or bad-faith response to something I've said, I don't have very good natural defences against that. My instinct is to give the other person's response more credence than it necessarily deserves, and wonder what I said to cause them to respond that way. I've had to work at mitigating that mindset.
Possibly I also have some formative baggage about neglect and not being listened to, so now when people don't genuinely engage with what I say it plays into that sensitivity. Whereas neither of my parents were judgemental about the stuff I enjoyed or was interested in as a kid, so nothing in me is primed to take that kind of judgement from others seriously.