[ SECRET POST #7022 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #7022 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 35 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1003.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Hmm. This is a weird one for me. On the one hand, I pretty much couldn't care less about antis or being kink-shamed or judged for stuff I like. Even if the thing I like is something I feel a little bit silly or insecure about, as soon as someone who is not me judges me for it I'm like, "Ah, right, this person is a judgemental asshole, no need to care what they think."

But OTOH, I'm annoyingly sensitive when it comes to people responding with hostility or judgement to something I've said when I've sincerely tried to express myself. I think maybe part of it is that I tend to assume everyone approaches communicating with others the same way I do, with a sincere desire to understand what the other person is trying to express, and to not read anything into what they've said that isn't definitely there. So when someone has a really hostile or bad-faith response to something I've said, I don't have very good natural defences against that. My instinct is to give the other person's response more credence than it necessarily deserves, and wonder what I said to cause them to respond that way. I've had to work at mitigating that mindset.

Possibly I also have some formative baggage about neglect and not being listened to, so now when people don't genuinely engage with what I say it plays into that sensitivity. Whereas neither of my parents were judgemental about the stuff I enjoyed or was interested in as a kid, so nothing in me is primed to take that kind of judgement from others seriously.

[(Anonymous)]

I totally understand you. I try to always write thoughtful comments, NOT loaded ones with an agenda behind them, and I don't ask pointed questions, etc. But sometimes, someone will come in with both fists raised, and act like I'm a troll, or quote things out of context, or argue with one sentence and ignore all the clarification, or just be really unnecessarily hostile. And THAT is kind of upsetting. I've gotten to the point now where if someone reacts that way, I generally just ignore it and don't respond at all.

[(Anonymous)]

I've gotten to the point now where if someone reacts that way, I generally just ignore it and don't respond at all.

This is very wise, imo. I'm working on getting to this point myself. :)

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Me too! Lol. I try to ignore it and mostly I do but sometimes it's just reeeaaally hard not to respond.

[(Anonymous)]

This reminds me of that one reddit comment where some guy spent like hours arguing with some other guy in good faith only to finally check the other guys profile and realize he's wasted his time arguing with someone that genuinely believes in drinking his own piss for health reasons or something like that

If someone makes wild leaps and conclusions and accusations based on absolutely nothing about one thing, I'm fine with concluding they're the type of person to do that about things, and not worth my time lol