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Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2026-03-28 01:51 pm
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[ SECRET POST #7022 ]


⌈ Secret Post #7022 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 35 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1003.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
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Transcript by OP

[personal profile] fscom 2026-03-28 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
For some reason people right now seem to love the "could X person be caught by Columbo" and they always justify it as Columbo winning. I disagree, there are four words to defeat Columbo that any halfway competent character could use to win: "Talk to my attorney!". As soon as they think he sees them as a suspect.

Columbo is written to win in his show, because it is his show. Nerds, accept it please!

(Anonymous) 2026-03-28 07:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I want the crossover where Columbo goes up against the at the height of his game Saul Goodman. The ultimate slippery jim set against the implacable investigator, who gets rattled first?

(Anonymous) 2026-03-28 10:15 pm (UTC)(link)

Clearly Columbo takes place in an alternate universe where you can't preemptively get an attorney. Don't ask how this would work.

(Anonymous) 2026-03-28 10:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Sadly, Columbo would have been eaten by an orc if he was in Lord of the Rings </3

(Anonymous) 2026-03-28 11:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Hey, I think he'd make a terrific hobbit lawyer!

...just one more thing

(Anonymous) 2026-03-29 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
But what if he wasn't?

(Anonymous) 2026-03-28 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
While we're all pitching our own ideas, mine is Columbo hired to investigate the Royco cruiseship/private yatch coverup scandals. I would love to see him interrogate the Roys and their entire entourage.

(Anonymous) 2026-03-28 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Why are you assuming Columbo is in their universe and not the other way around? hmm? Honestly, I just started watching him for the first time, and I've totally fallen in love! He absolutely would catch Light, but unfortunately there's no crack taken seriously longfic about it... yet.

(Anonymous) 2026-03-29 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
YES, all of this.

Columbo would DEFINITELY catch Light. Like, a BIG part of the Columbo question is how arrogant is the person he's up against. COULD someone get an attorney? Sure. But they don't, because they don't think they need to protect themselves. And while it's certainly how the world always works in his own show, I think it's ALSO how it would work in a lot of other universes. A lot of the people we naturally WANT to pit Columbo against are going to be arrogant, are going to fail to protect themselves because they either underestimate Columbo or are thinking about the optics of being easy to talk to vs the optics of bringing in an attorney before they have even been accused of a crime!

This is also why the Columbo vs Frasier comic works, which I love.
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