[ SECRET POST #7029 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #7029 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1004.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

You want your kids to tell you stuff, share details about their lives and what's going on? Then be the kind of supportive, non-judgmental parents that kids want to confide in. I never told my parents a single goddamn thing if I could help it, including times when I was in trouble because I knew that IF they agreed to help me, it'd come with a heavy price of hours of yelling and blaming me, calling me stupid and careless for making mistakes, and then bringing it up years and years afterwards and starting the whole blaming/yelling process all over again.

So now that I'm adult, I still don't tell them a goddamn thing if I can help it. And they're soooooo confused about how come I "shut them out" and why I'm "so cold" when all they've ever done is help me. Yeah. I could explain why to them, but they'd just get mad and (surprise!) blame me for that, too.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Damn, did you describe my relationship with my parents.

My mom also has loose lips, even when you ask her not to tell anyone. I especially hated how she'd use any information about me to start a humiliation ritual conversation at family functions.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Same. "Humiliation ritual conversation" is a good way to describe it. It was like a dual purpose event, first to embarrass me by recounting every mistake I'd made dating back to toddler-hood, second to engage in some kind of Who Suffered the Most parental hardship Olympics. Some of her stories are 25+ years old, and she loves telling stories of how I was dumb and didn't know what to do in a particular situation. I was seven? And nobody told me what to do? And that was YOUR JOB AS A PARENT, so how is it MY failure? She doesn't see any of that, it's just a funny story about her useless kid being useless, hahaha.

As an adult, it's insane to me how often I read someone else's childhood stories and think holy crap, that's me. Or how often I tell a story and someone else speaks up and says they dealt with the same thing as a kid. What the hell, parents?

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Yup, some parents are just too emotionally immature to actually parent. Oh, you treated your kid like shit and never made them feel emotionally safe about anything, and now you're mad they figured out you aren't dependable and that they deserve better? Cry me a river.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly. I'm expected to be grateful because you clothed and fed me...like that's not the very basic minimum of what you were legally obligated to do for your own child. I learned from an early age that my parents would laugh and ridicule me for anything they deemed not important...which was everything, really. Any failures were held up and mocked, at best. At worst, they'd yell and blame me for perfectly normal childhood stuff, like having a messy room or breaking a toy on accident, blowing it way out of proportion like oh, you left your clothes on the floor, that means you're never going to succeed in life and you'll end up homeless! I shit you not.

And these exact same parents are totally confused about why my answers to questions about my life are "good", "okay" and "fine". I would never tell them about my problems because they'll just find a way to blame me for having them and tell me all the things I should do to fix it. (And all those suggestions will range from impractical to terrible, and I'll be blamed again for not taking their advice.)