fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #7029 ]

[ SECRET POST #7029 ]

⌈ Secret Post #7029 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1004.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

This is stupid, but I need to get out of my chest.

I don't see my friends often enough. But also things like this just annoy the fuck out of me. My friend wrote that she wants to meet around 7 pm. I said sure, I am probably going to be available but keep me updated, I have plans.
A bit later apparently she doesn't know her timeline. But also it's not around 7, but after 7. But also the place is this relatively close to my home and on my commute route. Oh no. She needs to go home because her parents watch her children. So let's meet in a mall near hers. First of all, am I 14 to meet in a fucking mall. Also it's not too far, but commute is much more annoying. And also it moves time line for at least another hour. Probably closer to two.
And I understand her having children and it making everything trickier. But omg, no. I've noped out of this. I am not ping ponging myself through the whole city to spent half an hour in a mall.

Yeah, that would annoy me, too. I get that peoples' lives are busy and shit happens, but by a certain age people ought to be better at making plans. You want to get together, great! Oh, you have no idea when or where or how long... nah. Figure it out before you tell me to set aside time in my schedule. It's not rocket science, man.

Yeah! Like I can deal with people running late. But changing plans every 5 minutes and being absolutely vague about - it wasn't cute when we were teens and it so isn't cute when we in our 40s(!)

I can see why teenagers would do it, they don't have full control over their lives. But adults? Seriously, get your shit together.

I feel your frustration nonny! I've been frustrated with friends being crappy with timing and feeling like my time was wasted.

Some people are so used to getting things done "on the fly" they don't consider how difficult making plans and following through can be if they don't prepare well. It's not like when we were young with a lot of free time and barely have anything/anyone to be responsible for. Where you can waste hours "making plans" before finally meeting up.

Maybe it's a subconscious attempt to recapture youth, where "making plans" was literally half the fun of hanging out with friends. Thinking back, some of the wild stories I have with friends start with "we were making plans to hang out".
These days, when I make plans there needs to be a time frame. I have stuff I have to take care of before and after planned hang out. Some of it serious, some of it not so serious.

If your friend truly wanted to hang out with you, they might have to think about respecting your time more. In their 40s and with kids, that sort of poor planning is really disappointing (and annoying). And if they don't want to leave their kids/family, they shouldn't be making plans and canceling with friends.
It's annoying and feels passive aggressive. Had a friend who did that with me when she had kids. Now, I visit her house if I want to hang out with her. She's not a friend who I make plans with, she's a friend I visit.

I don't think the judgment about the mall was necessary. If it had been another venue, it would still be just as inconvenient.

But I can understand the frustration if the friend seems like they're just trying to cram you into a block of time, even if it messes with YOUR plans. Friendship isn't an afterthought or a checklist, it's a real relationship you have to put effort into.

Sorry, I think it's funny that you're concerned OP is dissing malls.

My neighbor's kid pushed right in front of me to get on the elevator before I could get off. Looked me right in the eye and walked right through me like I was a door. He's about 10 years old and I have to walk with a cane BTW. Little shit. If I had done something like that when I was a kid my parents would have hit the crap out of me. He's lucky I think it's wrong to hit kids.

Oh, this child is lucky that he haven't done it to me. Because I am not above just dragging him out of elevator. (I am against hittig children, but also I don't have children for reasons)

What a shithead. I hope you don't have to share an elevator with him again any time soon. =(

Ext time whack him on the ankle bone with your cane. Oops? Sorry? He’ll avoid you after that.
Rude kids need to learn manners.

You want your kids to tell you stuff, share details about their lives and what's going on? Then be the kind of supportive, non-judgmental parents that kids want to confide in. I never told my parents a single goddamn thing if I could help it, including times when I was in trouble because I knew that IF they agreed to help me, it'd come with a heavy price of hours of yelling and blaming me, calling me stupid and careless for making mistakes, and then bringing it up years and years afterwards and starting the whole blaming/yelling process all over again.

So now that I'm adult, I still don't tell them a goddamn thing if I can help it. And they're soooooo confused about how come I "shut them out" and why I'm "so cold" when all they've ever done is help me. Yeah. I could explain why to them, but they'd just get mad and (surprise!) blame me for that, too.

Damn, did you describe my relationship with my parents.

My mom also has loose lips, even when you ask her not to tell anyone. I especially hated how she'd use any information about me to start a humiliation ritual conversation at family functions.

Same. "Humiliation ritual conversation" is a good way to describe it. It was like a dual purpose event, first to embarrass me by recounting every mistake I'd made dating back to toddler-hood, second to engage in some kind of Who Suffered the Most parental hardship Olympics. Some of her stories are 25+ years old, and she loves telling stories of how I was dumb and didn't know what to do in a particular situation. I was seven? And nobody told me what to do? And that was YOUR JOB AS A PARENT, so how is it MY failure? She doesn't see any of that, it's just a funny story about her useless kid being useless, hahaha.

As an adult, it's insane to me how often I read someone else's childhood stories and think holy crap, that's me. Or how often I tell a story and someone else speaks up and says they dealt with the same thing as a kid. What the hell, parents?

Yup, some parents are just too emotionally immature to actually parent. Oh, you treated your kid like shit and never made them feel emotionally safe about anything, and now you're mad they figured out you aren't dependable and that they deserve better? Cry me a river.

Exactly. I'm expected to be grateful because you clothed and fed me...like that's not the very basic minimum of what you were legally obligated to do for your own child. I learned from an early age that my parents would laugh and ridicule me for anything they deemed not important...which was everything, really. Any failures were held up and mocked, at best. At worst, they'd yell and blame me for perfectly normal childhood stuff, like having a messy room or breaking a toy on accident, blowing it way out of proportion like oh, you left your clothes on the floor, that means you're never going to succeed in life and you'll end up homeless! I shit you not.

And these exact same parents are totally confused about why my answers to questions about my life are "good", "okay" and "fine". I would never tell them about my problems because they'll just find a way to blame me for having them and tell me all the things I should do to fix it. (And all those suggestions will range from impractical to terrible, and I'll be blamed again for not taking their advice.)

I had a committment conflict so I couldn't go to the Carpenter Brut concert in Chicago next weekend, and was consoling myself by saying I wasn't going to spend $65 on a dive club that holds maybe 200 people at best. That is, in fact, insane, even if they're a French act touring the US at long last.

Well, the committment got canceled, my weekend is free to travel. Now I have to be actually mad that I don't have $65 to spend on a concert for a band I will probably never get another chance to see live. At least the Magic Sword show the following week was only $33, that's reasonable (and was my birthday present).

Why do my middle and thumb nail keep breaking?? I want to grow them out so I can have more room to do nail art. No, I don't want to put on stick-on nails. I want my natural nails.
Wah, the most first world problem, I know.

Do you wear gloves when you wash dishes or handle harsh chemicals?

Do you use those specific nails to handle specific jobs, like scraping adhesive (or other things) off a surface?

Are you nails prone to breaking in general?

Do you use hand creams/hand lotions often?

I don't have an answer, those are just things to consider. For me, if my hands are exposed to wet chemicals too long, and I don't moisturize them adequately, my nails tend to be weaker.

Also, get prenatal vitamins. Your hair and nails will look fantastic.

I wish there was a way to move it, or even turn it off completely. I click on it by accident all the time, and it's SO annoying. I almost never receive spam email that isn't already filtered to the spam folder so it's useless to me. I've searched for ways to turn it off, but sadly, it seems that you can't.

Please note that I don't want to turn it off for everybody. I just want to have the option to turn it off for myself only.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #7029 ]

Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

Re: Vent thread

I HATE THE REPORT SPAM BUTTON ON GMAIL.