[ SECRET POST #7029 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #7029 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1004.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

This is stupid, but I need to get out of my chest.

I don't see my friends often enough. But also things like this just annoy the fuck out of me. My friend wrote that she wants to meet around 7 pm. I said sure, I am probably going to be available but keep me updated, I have plans.
A bit later apparently she doesn't know her timeline. But also it's not around 7, but after 7. But also the place is this relatively close to my home and on my commute route. Oh no. She needs to go home because her parents watch her children. So let's meet in a mall near hers. First of all, am I 14 to meet in a fucking mall. Also it's not too far, but commute is much more annoying. And also it moves time line for at least another hour. Probably closer to two.
And I understand her having children and it making everything trickier. But omg, no. I've noped out of this. I am not ping ponging myself through the whole city to spent half an hour in a mall.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, that would annoy me, too. I get that peoples' lives are busy and shit happens, but by a certain age people ought to be better at making plans. You want to get together, great! Oh, you have no idea when or where or how long... nah. Figure it out before you tell me to set aside time in my schedule. It's not rocket science, man.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah! Like I can deal with people running late. But changing plans every 5 minutes and being absolutely vague about - it wasn't cute when we were teens and it so isn't cute when we in our 40s(!)

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I can see why teenagers would do it, they don't have full control over their lives. But adults? Seriously, get your shit together.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I feel your frustration nonny! I've been frustrated with friends being crappy with timing and feeling like my time was wasted.

Some people are so used to getting things done "on the fly" they don't consider how difficult making plans and following through can be if they don't prepare well. It's not like when we were young with a lot of free time and barely have anything/anyone to be responsible for. Where you can waste hours "making plans" before finally meeting up.

Maybe it's a subconscious attempt to recapture youth, where "making plans" was literally half the fun of hanging out with friends. Thinking back, some of the wild stories I have with friends start with "we were making plans to hang out".
These days, when I make plans there needs to be a time frame. I have stuff I have to take care of before and after planned hang out. Some of it serious, some of it not so serious.

If your friend truly wanted to hang out with you, they might have to think about respecting your time more. In their 40s and with kids, that sort of poor planning is really disappointing (and annoying). And if they don't want to leave their kids/family, they shouldn't be making plans and canceling with friends.
It's annoying and feels passive aggressive. Had a friend who did that with me when she had kids. Now, I visit her house if I want to hang out with her. She's not a friend who I make plans with, she's a friend I visit.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think the judgment about the mall was necessary. If it had been another venue, it would still be just as inconvenient.

But I can understand the frustration if the friend seems like they're just trying to cram you into a block of time, even if it messes with YOUR plans. Friendship isn't an afterthought or a checklist, it's a real relationship you have to put effort into.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry, I think it's funny that you're concerned OP is dissing malls.