fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #7029 ]

[ SECRET POST #7029 ]

⌈ Secret Post #7029 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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General comments:

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This is kind of random, but I'm on a subreddit for a reality TV show. And there's this one guy who is just so rude, abrasive, dismissive, and sometimes straight up hateful, but he says a lot of things I agree with... but he's such an asshole that I don't want to be "on his side." He makes so many comments where he's straight up nasty about the contestants on the show, and other people on the subreddit. Constantly complaining about "morons" on the sub (then why are you here, feel free to leave and find a place that isn't full of the "dumbest people on the internet"...) and personally attacking people who he doesn't agree with. It's crazy, because sometimes he'll come out with something really accurate and thoughtful, then you scroll down and half a dozen comments later, he's calling someone a dumb loser because they like a contestant he doesn't like.

Yup. When people are rude to people who disagree with their fandom opinions, it pisses me off even if I actually agree with their opinions.

So many people at my work!

Edited 2026-04-04 23:32 (UTC)

Re: Ever known someone you agree with but who is so rude you don't want to be "on their side"?

(Anonymous) - 2026-04-05 03:26 (UTC) - Expand

So many people in multiple fandoms of mine.

I know the feeling all too well. Assuming there are any comments where he mixes in the well-thought out points with insults, that's where this meme comes in handy:

Homelander meme with the text, When someone has the exact same opinion as you but they express it in such an annoying and obnoxious way that you lowkey don't want to agree

Less "rude" and more "words things in a way that's just greatly annoying," but that's essentially all of Tumblr and lots of YouTubers.

What % of FS users do you think are neurotypical / neurodivergent?

Are you neurotypical / neurodivergent?

Personally I suspect I am in some way if only because I have serious difficulty reading facial/body language, among other issues. But no official diagnoses, mostly due to growing up in a missionary community where neurodivergence wasn't aknowledged.

And honestly no idea. I think the general level among nerdy people/fandom is higher than the average. But other than that, no clue.

Probably more than a few, people in fandom do tend to fall into being less neurotypical.

I have a dyslexia/ADHD combo that sure makes life interesting when I don't want it to, but I manage it the best I can and I otherwise do alright. I can actually hole down jobs for more than a year now so yay for that.

I definitely am neurodivergent. I have Di George Syndrome which has high chance of running alongside autism and ADHD and other neurodivergencies.

More are than are not. I am.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2026-04-04 23:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

kaijinscendre - 2026-04-04 23:50 (UTC) - Expand

I assume like 95% are neurodivergent in some way, with a high percentage of autism in the crowd.

I've seen "neurodivergent" defined different ways so not sure if I qualify, being bipolar.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2026-04-05 13:14 (UTC) - Expand

I think we skew neurodivergent and it’s partly because FS is a holdover from the days when fandom was mostly neurodivergent people.

I’m neurodivergent and learned my social skills on LJ through fandom.

Definitely feel like I'm neurodivergent. I'd say a good chunk of FS members are neurodivergent. I also think many of the neurotypical folks have neurodivergent folks in their lives so they can meet us on our levels most times.

So the Duggar family has been in the news lately yet again,, because a SECOND son has been outed as a pedophile who sexually assaulted a child. I have been reading their subreddit and it's just. I don't know. People online can find ANYTHING, and it's kind of... I don't know. Kind of messed up?? But people are accessing publicly-available information, and it's not that I think this pedophile or his enabling family should have privacy, BUT there are little kids and other family members who aren't pedophiles and who aren't standing by these people, and they get caught in the crossfire too. So I feel conflicted about reading the info at all. I just think about how I would feel if I had a sketchy branch of my family, and people were online bringing me up just because I was a cousin or an in-law, even if I wasn't involved at all in the situation.

And some of what is posted kind of crosses the line too. There's a lot of speculation about who Joseph's victim was. It's horrible. It gets deleted by mods usually but there's just so much of it.

I don't feel sorry for any of the men in the family. They are all abusers.

Sounds like something you may want to distance yourself from. Nothing good will come from reading subs like that.

Re: Warning: Duggar family, mention of CSA perpetrator

(Anonymous) - 2026-04-05 02:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Warning: Duggar family, mention of CSA perpetrator

(Anonymous) - 2026-04-05 17:30 (UTC) - Expand

This is the whole true crime problem in a nutshell. Innocent people who are affected by the crime get caught up in it, often more than the actual perpetrator.

Re: Warning: Duggar family, mention of CSA perpetrator

(Anonymous) - 2026-04-05 01:52 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Warning: Duggar family, mention of CSA perpetrator

(Anonymous) - 2026-04-05 02:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Warning: Duggar family, mention of CSA perpetrator

(Anonymous) - 2026-04-05 11:54 (UTC) - Expand

Given the tv network was presented with evidence and chose to look the other way in favour of "wholesome" Christian content, I am not surprised.

Re: Warning: Duggar family, mention of CSA perpetrator

(Anonymous) - 2026-04-05 02:29 (UTC) - Expand

A lot of people on Reddit don't know when to stop. I've had to stop reading some subs because people don't realize that Just Because You Can, Doesn't Mean You Should. And also, It Might Be Legal, But That Doesn't Mean It's Right. Like you said, family members who have NO involvement will be dragged through the mud too. Or even they'll find someone with the same or similar name, but who ISN'T actually associated with whoever they're snarking on, and discuss that person until they realize oops, wrong person. A lot of it does feel like soft doxing, and sometimes it's blatant doxing. Someone looked up property records and posted the home address of these people who had just bought a house. They had little kids, and it eventually got removed by the mods, but it took a hot minute and a lot of complaining from people before they finally pulled it.

Then, they get in trouble with Reddit admin, and are so confused on what happened. Gee, I don't know, maybe because people here have been blatantly doxing and harassing this person??? Snark subreddits are almost always toxic places that become worse than the person they're about.