[ SECRET POST #1067 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1067 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 13 pages, 325 secrets from Secret Submission Post #153.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 - ships it ], [ 1 - would hit it ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

not the OP

[(Anonymous)]

I went off my meds. They never worked for me. If I was on them now, I'd still be living with side-effects and I sure as hell wouldn't be writing, because those things shut my imagination off like it's on a switch. They shut *me* off.

I can handle a psychotic episode every couple of years if my life is worth living the rest of the time, thanks. I can deal with the isolation, the lousy attention span, the cognitive drift, and the need to spend half my time moving around like I'm on a string, because I get to keep hold of the things that make me myself, that are important to me.

*cha-ching*

Re: not the OP

[(Anonymous)]

How long has it been since you stopped taking medication? Because there are a lot of new drugs out there, ones less likely to cause side effects. Haldol made me nearly braindead, but Resperidol hasn't effected my cognitive functioning at all. Yeah, there are side effects, but it's just anxiety and weight gain and I can handle that. I'm (slowly) getting my life back, and without losing any of the things that matter to me.

Re: not the OP

[(Anonymous)]

Risperdal got me 911ed to the emergency ward on a low dose. I can't take it or anything similar; stelazine didn't hospitalise me, but it still made my eyes tend to the right. It was freaky. :(

It's more than a decade since I was on medication, wow! I'm happy with my life as it stands, I think. If something goes wrong and/or I die young, I guess that's how it will be.

Re: not the OP

[(Anonymous)]

...A decade? Really? Medicine has advanced so far since then that there's really no comparing.

If you're happy with your life, that's one thing, but it sounds like the OP has a reasonable chance of psychosis, which is worrying.

Re: not the OP

[(Anonymous)]

Not where I live. There's no funding for mental healthcare, so I get swept under the rug because I'm mostly stable and can't get to a clinic when I'm not.

I guess what I want to say is that you aren't necessarily going to stab people just because you're off meds. You might just end up barefoot in the dark like the poster further up, or totally alone and routinely yelling random shit at passersby like me.

I am a good advertisement for a life off meds, clearly.

Re: not the OP

[childings.livejournal.com]

I don't have any insurance at all and I went to my state's health department. They hooked me up with a clinic that's run by Catholic Charities and I've been getting free meds, and doctor's visits have cost me either $15 or $30 a visit depending on how much money I'm making at any given time (which fluctuates greatly because I work in education and I do a lot of seasonal/part-time work).

And I live in Tennessee, which is like, one of the shittiest states ever as far as state funding for health care and other social services, so yeah

Also, your experience is not typical

Re: not the OP

[(Anonymous)]

Where are you from? There's no funding for mental healthcare where I am either and I don't really have enough cash for the happy pills. Basically I'm a schizophrenic off her meds, and though I detest being dependent on the damn pills that don't really seem to work, idk, cold turkey is probably not a good idea. Don't really know what to do though.

Re: not the OP

[childings.livejournal.com]

Whatever dude. I hate that being on lamictal kills my creative drive, but if I wasn't on medication nobody would stand to be around me and my husband would've divorced me because honestly, nobody needs to live with that kind of behavior. It's abusive.

I may be an asshole on the internet but trust me, it's nothing compared to how I used to be IRL before I finally sought treatment and started medication. I can't believe my parents never put me on anything and I actually despise them for assuming that there wasn't anything chemically wrong with my brain growing up. I shouldn't have had to live like that for 20+ years of my life.

So yeah, enjoy your psychotic episodes. Personally, I can do without flipping the fuck out and screaming and yelling at people for no reason and finding myself barefoot in an unfamiliar neighborhood in below freezing temperatures all alone and not understanding how I got there in the first place.

I can deal with the isolation

BULLSHIT.

Re: not the OP

[(Anonymous)]

*patpat?*

I feel for you, dude. I do. I wish my mom had noticed, and all the withdrawal and deterioration hadn't been put down to me being awkward. (She does, too.)

What am I bullshitting about, in particularly?

Re: not the OP

[childings.livejournal.com]

No human being can "deal" with isolation. Human beings need interaction with other human beings in order to be mentally and emotionally healthy. If you think you're okay with no friends or human contact you're deluding yourself.

Re: not the OP

[(Anonymous)]

How old are you? Because, since you're on Lamictal, I'm assuming that you have bi-polar disorder and for a long time, they wouldn't diagnose that in children. My parents would bring me to doctors who'd basically tell me that I had bi-polar disorder, but they weren't allowed to treat it. So, if you're under 30, you wouldn't have gotten proper treatment even if your parents had brought you to a doctor.

waaaaay too much personal information

[childings.livejournal.com]

I'm 26, so I was in elementary school in the late 80s/early 90s. Yeah, they didn't diagnose bipolar in children then (although finally psychiatry has realized that children can indeed be bipolar, and from what I remember about my behavior and what I've read in my psychiatric file from my public school days, I was definitely bipolar even then). When I was nine or ten the school finally convinced my mom and dad, which took a lot of coercion on their part, that I should see a psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with ADHD, though I was only on meds for two weeks and they didn't follow through with any kind of therapy (granted they couldn't afford it). And that was it. I was pretty much told to "suck it up" and treated like I was throwing fits on purpose all along. It was horrible for my self-esteem and honestly I spent most of my childhood being physically isolated from other students (this was also because I was academically advanced for the curriculum). Most of what I remember about elementary school is being alone in the library reading or taking IQ tests. Oh, and throwing temper tantrums.

I do remember the principal of my elementary school (who was a fucking bitch who once locked me in a storage closet because she didn't want to deal with me) telling my parents that they needed to get me a CAT scan and they were super offended, though now I kinda wish they would have, especially after I had a seizure in college (my doctor referred me to a neurologist but I never went because I couldn't afford it back then).


TL;DR It wasn't so much that I didn't get treated, it's the fact that my parents refused to believe that there was anything wrong with me and chalked it all up to my lack of self-control.