fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1067 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1067 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 13 pages, 325 secrets from Secret Submission Post #153.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 - ships it ], [ 1 - would hit it ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Whatever dude. I hate that being on lamictal kills my creative drive, but if I wasn't on medication nobody would stand to be around me and my husband would've divorced me because honestly, nobody needs to live with that kind of behavior. It's abusive.

I may be an asshole on the internet but trust me, it's nothing compared to how I used to be IRL before I finally sought treatment and started medication. I can't believe my parents never put me on anything and I actually despise them for assuming that there wasn't anything chemically wrong with my brain growing up. I shouldn't have had to live like that for 20+ years of my life.

So yeah, enjoy your psychotic episodes. Personally, I can do without flipping the fuck out and screaming and yelling at people for no reason and finding myself barefoot in an unfamiliar neighborhood in below freezing temperatures all alone and not understanding how I got there in the first place.

I can deal with the isolation

BULLSHIT.

Edited 2009-12-08 00:02 (UTC)

*patpat?*

I feel for you, dude. I do. I wish my mom had noticed, and all the withdrawal and deterioration hadn't been put down to me being awkward. (She does, too.)

What am I bullshitting about, in particularly?

No human being can "deal" with isolation. Human beings need interaction with other human beings in order to be mentally and emotionally healthy. If you think you're okay with no friends or human contact you're deluding yourself.

How old are you? Because, since you're on Lamictal, I'm assuming that you have bi-polar disorder and for a long time, they wouldn't diagnose that in children. My parents would bring me to doctors who'd basically tell me that I had bi-polar disorder, but they weren't allowed to treat it. So, if you're under 30, you wouldn't have gotten proper treatment even if your parents had brought you to a doctor.

I'm 26, so I was in elementary school in the late 80s/early 90s. Yeah, they didn't diagnose bipolar in children then (although finally psychiatry has realized that children can indeed be bipolar, and from what I remember about my behavior and what I've read in my psychiatric file from my public school days, I was definitely bipolar even then). When I was nine or ten the school finally convinced my mom and dad, which took a lot of coercion on their part, that I should see a psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with ADHD, though I was only on meds for two weeks and they didn't follow through with any kind of therapy (granted they couldn't afford it). And that was it. I was pretty much told to "suck it up" and treated like I was throwing fits on purpose all along. It was horrible for my self-esteem and honestly I spent most of my childhood being physically isolated from other students (this was also because I was academically advanced for the curriculum). Most of what I remember about elementary school is being alone in the library reading or taking IQ tests. Oh, and throwing temper tantrums.

I do remember the principal of my elementary school (who was a fucking bitch who once locked me in a storage closet because she didn't want to deal with me) telling my parents that they needed to get me a CAT scan and they were super offended, though now I kinda wish they would have, especially after I had a seizure in college (my doctor referred me to a neurologist but I never went because I couldn't afford it back then).

TL;DR It wasn't so much that I didn't get treated, it's the fact that my parents refused to believe that there was anything wrong with me and chalked it all up to my lack of self-control.

Edited 2009-12-08 02:17 (UTC)

[ SECRET POST #1067 ]

Re: not the OP

Re: not the OP

Re: not the OP

Re: not the OP

waaaaay too much personal information