[ SECRET POST #7033 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #7033 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 14 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1004.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[philstar22]

Yup. And honestly, most of the actual trans people I know are just as mixed in their gender norms as most people are. They always knew they were a different gender than their body, but that didn't mean they always gravitated towards the traditional tropes of the gender they were either.

And that makes sense to me personally. I was rabidly against so many female tropes as a kid, though I've embraced a few as an adult. But I always knew I was a girl. I thought there might be something wrong with me for not wanting kids, etc., but I never thought I was a boy. And that's completely different from the experience of trans people, at least the people I know.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm trans and absolutely didn't always know it. Because I didn't know it was something you could be unless you were a weirdo freak who wanted a "sex change" for "perverted" reasons until I was in college. Roughly half the trans people I've met who are around my age or older have said similarly. "Trans people always knew they were trans" is in fact a narrative that prevents a lot of us from coming out to ourselves, because we didn't always know, so that must mean whatever we're feeling, even though what we're feeling is literally "I am not my assigned birth gender," isn't being trans.

[philstar22]

That makes sense, and I'm sorry. Was only speaking from what I've heard from people I know. And I never meant to say that was the only way. Only meant to say that gender and gender norms are two separate circles that overlap but aren't fully lined up.

[(Anonymous)]

it doesn't make sense. you don't have to pretend.

[philstar22]

No idea who you are or what you mean? As someone who didn't know their own sexuality for years due to a massively homophobic upbringing, I totally get how someone could similarly not know something about themselves related to their gender because of where and how they grew up.

[(Anonymous)]

You're right of course but for me, as soon as I heard of the concept of "weirdo freak sex changes" as a kid, I knew without a doubt I wanted one, I was so relieved that there was anything similar in real life to what I had dreamed of forever. It's a very clear memory to me of feeling relief and longing as soon as I knew of the idea, even with the stigmatizing language around it. Interesting how different experiences can be, I don't mean to dismiss yours at all and appreciate you sharing.

[(Anonymous)]

And honestly, most of the actual trans people I know are just as mixed in their gender norms as most people are.

Exactly. Gender presentation and norms =/= gender, and while there can be overlap, there isn't always. There are plenty of cis people who like to engage in some degree of genderfuckery just as there are plenty of trans people who like to adhere to the traditional gender presentation/norms of their gender.

Heck, I know a cis gay guy who likes to wear long skirts in the summer because they're way more comfortable than pants when it's 90+ and humid out. He isn't trans, he's just a dude who happens to like the way skirts look and feel. And likewise, I know a trans guy who looks like a big bearded lumberjack. I literally knew him for almost three years before I even found out he was trans because he is 100% a guy's guy.

[(Anonymous)]

It's crazy how some trans activists are actually more gender role obsessed and essentialist than some transphobes.