fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #7034 ]

[ SECRET POST #7034 ]

⌈ Secret Post #7034 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 07 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1004.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think it's the perimenopause, because I've heard a lot of women say the same thing... you run out of fucks to give. A lot of the things you used to tolerate irritate you a LOT more and because you've been patient and understanding for decades at this point, you're fucking DONE. That friend who's always an hour late for everything no matter what and then "forgets" their money so can you cover lunch again? They can fuck right off. That guy who has shitty opinions about how women should dress because men don't like non-girly fashions? He can eat a whole juicy bag of dicks. The co-worker who takes your stuff without asking and then never returns it? Desk drawer is now locked and all my good pens are beyond your reach, shithead.

It seems aggressive and impatient, but honestly... a lot of the people getting cut off or ghosted aren't adding much to your life, anyway. Let this be a lesson to annoying little crapsacks to be better friends, co-workers and partners if they want people to show up for them and be nice to them.

Yeah this question feels weird to me as a fellow periomenopausal woman because socioemotional selective theory is valid. As we enter middle age, we tend to care more about strengthening existing bonds than forming new ones.

There's so little motivation to devote time and energy to people who aren't giving that time and energy back.

You know. I have a lot of thoughts about this. You know how "Karen" kind of means a middle-aged woman who is a bitch? I feel like it's really common for middle-aged women to get to the point of being bitches because they have, like you said, spent literal decades of their lives keeping sweet, and being accommodating and understanding, and gritting their teeth and smiling, and being the bigger person, and not making it an issue, and just accepting whatever shit is thrown at you. And then you get older and you start to run out of that fucking patience and you stand up for yourself for once, and because you're a woman who is stepping out of her place, that's a bad thing. Especially if you're an OLDER woman, aka not fuckable (or not AS fuckable), you have minimal worth and should just sit down and shut the fuck up. And speaking out is the worst thing you can do.

So yeah. I have complicated thoughts about "Karen" because I fucking get it.

DA

"Karen" doesn't mean "middle aged woman who doesn't take shit anymore." It means "woman who will verbally and maybe physically assault a service worker because they're out of vanilla syrup."

This. And it can also apply to men.

+1

It’s a very specific type of woman, or customer in general tbh because men absolutely did this too, who will yell at employees because they didn’t have the shade of pink lipstick they wanted.

It is not misogyny to call people doing that dickheads.

You must never have seen a woman who is not at all in the wrong or unreasonable being called a Karen. I envy you. I've seen it a lot.

I see more horrible customers trying to justify their shitty behaviour by being 'unfairly' labled than I see the term applied wrong, when a woman is behaving in a way that society deems unacceptable people tend to just call us bitches. 9/10 the lady is being called a Karen because she's yelling at a teenager over the shampoo they want being sold out. I ain't excusing shit like that for anything.

I disagree. Maybe that was the original meaning of "Karen," but in popular usage, it now tends to mean "A woman who behaves in a way that I don't like, and my standards for the appropriate behavior of women may or may not be reasonable."

That's just bog standard misogyny. It's like racists using woke to mean "anything I don't like." We don't cede "woke" to them, why would you cede Karen to them?

+1

The popularity of the term Karen is definitely rooted in misogyny. No one is defending people being assholes to service workers or strangers in public. But this term came about for women, not for men. Because people have higher expectations for women to be nice than they have for men. There is not an equivalent name used as an insult for entitled men due to the underlying misogyny in society.

And I am a retail worker, I see asshole behavior from every single demographic. All of them. But it's middle aged women who get the insult term for a reason: misogyny and ageism.

The original claim was that it calls out women specifically because it's about racist white women, and women's way of being racist is different from men's. There may be no special name for a racist white man because "white man" is enough to convey that he's racist.

Lol "white man" is enough to imply he's racist is WILD. Sure, I guess "black man" is enough to imply he's a criminal if we throw ridiculous generalisations around.

It was originally a short-hand for racist white women who call the cops on black people existing outside and got applied to certain types of customers because the behaviour carried over. But yeah, this is what a Karen is, not just a woman who's saying no to something.

This. It didn't need to apply to white men who call the cops on black people because that's not a big phemomenon. Men don't need to involve a middleman like the cops, they "take care of" the "problem" of black people existing with their own violence. In retail, it began with white women who would threaten to talk to the manager. Men don't do that, they intimidate customers all by themselves.

da

yeah that's the origin of the term. but the first anon was talking about how the usage of the term has evolved. like many things that come from black american culture, it has spread to wide usage and grown far from its roots. the misogyny isn't from its origin, it's from how society has been very happy to embrace a term that can be used to attempt to shut women down. i'm honestly surprised to see so many people who think there isn't any misogyny involved in the popularity and widespread general use of this term.

For me, it's that I spent years tolerating peoples' fuck-ups, but that based on the understanding that *I* would want people to be patient with me. If I cut someone some slack for something crappy they did, I expect them to fix their issues and not repeat the mistake, because that's what I try to do. But people rarely do this. More often, you cut someone slack and they take that as implicit permission to be a dickhead because there are no penalties for it.

So yeah, the peri is getting me and I'm tired and hot and have zero energy for the things that I like and the people I like. So the people I don't like that much, or the people with recurring patterns of poor behavior - I'm cutting them loose, but not before they get a serious chewing out. I don't care if it doesn't fix them, I'm just giving them a piece of my mind that they've richly deserved for years. That's their penalty.

Getting older isn't an excuse to scream at strangers just doing their fucking jobs, I don't care how accommodating or small you've made yourself over your life, the moment you start yelling at someone over fucking nothing you're the twat and will be shamed as such.

And I will shame dudes for this behaviour too, as they fucking do it as well, sometimes worse as I've seen grown men try to get physically violent with teenager staff members.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #7034 ]

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?

Re: How often do you end bad relationships?