[ SECRET POST #7074 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #7074 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[The Boys]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 20 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1010.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I kind of relate OP. First of all, congratulations on finding a helpful medication regimen. It can be so frustrating trying to get the right balance with meds and dealing with side effects and such.

Second, yeah, when my mental health was much worse and I was in a horrible IRL situation, I had seemingly endless energy for fandom. It was escapism for me, and the creative challenge of writing fic appealed to my brain in just the right way when I was doing badly. I miss the excitement and obsessive creativity, but overall I'm very happy to be where I am now, but I do sometimes wish I still had the passion for fandom I used to.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah this is it. I'm definitely in a better place but I just miss the passion I had and that rush of joy and creativity that a new fandom or pairing brought. But I can now recognize that it was not exactly a healthy escapism and not a healthy substitute for real joy.

I had a friend that is also bipolar talk about missing the ups and downs and said it's almost like missing drugs. There is a real rush to that kind of obsessive passion and creativity that made them feel almost a euphoric high. I've never taken drugs outside of prescribed meds so not sure how accurate that is, but it def feels like an unhealthy craving somedays.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

I get that, I miss the excitement and drama of when I was doing worse, even though things are so much better now at first it felt boring and unfamiliar, until I slowly got used to quieter feelings of real joy and sadness. I guess I was just used to instability and those extremes felt normal to me, and more interesting than actually feeling normal for a while. I used to drink heavily for escapism too (I am sober now, it's just healthier for me to avoid it personally) and I definitely see what your friend means.

It is very weird to adjust to changes in mental health, even when they're good, wishing you the best OP.