fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1078 ]

[ SECRET POST #1078 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1078 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

101.

__________________________________________________

102.

__________________________________________________

103.

__________________________________________________

104.

__________________________________________________

105.

__________________________________________________

106.

__________________________________________________

107.

__________________________________________________

108.

__________________________________________________

109.

__________________________________________________

110.

__________________________________________________

111.

__________________________________________________

112.

__________________________________________________

113.

__________________________________________________

114.

__________________________________________________

115.

__________________________________________________

116.

__________________________________________________

117.

__________________________________________________

118.

__________________________________________________

119.

__________________________________________________

120.

__________________________________________________

121.

__________________________________________________

122.

__________________________________________________

123.

__________________________________________________

124.

__________________________________________________

125.

__________________________________________________

126.

__________________________________________________

127.

__________________________________________________

128.

__________________________________________________

129.

__________________________________________________

130.

__________________________________________________

131.

__________________________________________________

132.

__________________________________________________

133.

__________________________________________________

134.

__________________________________________________

135.

__________________________________________________

136.

__________________________________________________

137.

__________________________________________________

138.

__________________________________________________

139. http://cozaweb.com/img/20081021cs52.jpg
[porn]

__________________________________________________

140.

__________________________________________________

141.

__________________________________________________

142.

__________________________________________________

143.

__________________________________________________

144.

__________________________________________________

145.

__________________________________________________

146.

__________________________________________________

147.

__________________________________________________

148.

__________________________________________________

149.

__________________________________________________

150.

__________________________________________________

151.

__________________________________________________

152.

__________________________________________________

153.

__________________________________________________

154.

__________________________________________________

155.

__________________________________________________

156.

__________________________________________________

157.

__________________________________________________

158.

__________________________________________________

159.

__________________________________________________

160.

__________________________________________________

161. [SPOILERS for Glee]

__________________________________________________

162. [SPOILERS for Darker than Black]

__________________________________________________

163. [SPOILERS for UNSEEN ACADEMICALS BY TERRY PRATCHETT]

__________________________________________________

164. [SPOILERS for Dr Who]

__________________________________________________

165. [SPOILERS for Dexter]

__________________________________________________

166. [SPOILERS for something but they didnt tell me what]

__________________________________________________

167. [SPOILERS for Birth by Sleep]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #154.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

101. http://i49.tinypic.com/263vr4o.jpg

You'll find your place eventually, OP. I hope it's soon!

And that's a really pretty graphic.

Protip: watch tv and films when they premier, and if you enjoy them, fangirl/boy the shit out of them while the fandom is tiny, join/make the early comms, and friend the people you meet at that time.

Be proactive about it if it's that much of a problem. TALK TO STRANGERS. This is the internet, everyone is a stranger, but at least on lj and in fandom, we're strangers with a literal list of interests in common.

Friending memes. They can do wonders to your friends list.
Trust me, I used to be lonely in fandom too.

This secret makes me sad. Like others have said you'll find your place OP both in fandom and RL. We all feel alone at times, but don't stop reaching out to people and friends will find you. So keep your chin up okay:)

Sometimes the best way to make friends in fandom is to be a little selfish. I don't mean "be mean." Instead, what I think you should do is post reaction posts and reviews to the episodes on the main comms, talking about theories and whatever. It doesn't matter if these are things people have discussed before; fresh opinions tend to invigorate fandom, and a lot of the time oldbies appreciate the enthusiasm newbies bring to bear. The key thing is not to be simply reactive (eg, replying to people's posts) but in making your own. It helps to be creative but there are lots of ways to be creative besides ficcing and art: making icons is a good way, or going through fic archives and drawing up detailed recc lists, or getting into the doujinshi scene and scanning in items, or (if it is a reality-based fandom) going to ONTD comms and learning about what sorts of news items and gossip people are looking to find, and going out on the internet looking for new things to link to.

Also, if there are fandom-based IRC chat rooms or AIM chats or whatever, just go check them out! It's okay to lurk so long as you are not evasive about your identity if asked.

The only thing you shouldn't try to do as an outsider is to set up comms and things; this can be very discouraging if no one signs up. Don't do things that require the participation of others to succeed. Find your own fun and follow it, and hopefully people will enjoy your style and want to be friends with you.

For what it's worth, your secret touched me, and I wish you the best of luck finding your place in fandom. It can happen. Don't give up!

I don't think the issue is so much that you show up late to the fandom. A lot of people discover new fandoms and join them after a few seasons/books/movies/whatever. I think the real problem is that you don't talk to strangers. Because, seriously, even if you were groundflooring a fandom - they're still strangers, most of them.

Just talk. I know it's hard (I used to be the same way), but just do it anyway. Don't worry if you're going to come off as an idiot. At least that would mean that you're trying.

Some things that helped me:

1) participate in friending memes - and don't just wait for people to friend you. Find people who seem interesting and ask to friend them. And once you have these friends, comment regularly on their journal entries (or fan fic, or icons, or whatever they do with their journals). Ask them questions. People love to talk about themselves.

2) read fan fic and comment on stories that you enjoy. Authors love comments, and you might make some new friends that way. Also, be willing to beta fics. You might become friends with the author.

3) write fan fic of your own (or make graphics or icons or fan art or whatever it is you are good at) and submit it communities relative to your fandom interests. You might get some good reviews and make friends!

4) talk to people. Comment and say that you love someone's icon. Give advice if someone's asking for it. Participate in a discussion. Just talk talk talk. Eventually, you'll find people who like talking with you.

YOU CAN DO THIS ANON. You don't have to be eternally lonely, and don't let yourself feel like the out of place new guy. You may be new, but every.single.person currently in the fandom was once a n00b. Go out there and market yourself. Have confidence in yourself and realize that you are a worthwhile person whom people would be glad to know.

I second all of this. I recently joined *three* new fandoms that have all been in existence for at least three years, and I've already made some friends. You just have to make the effort to put yourself out there.

All of this!

I got into a new fandom in May of this year. Didn't know anyone. I did all of the above (I'm a pretty extroverted person, though, so it wasn't hard for me), and I have...I don't know 50+ people on my flist now. Some of them I'm already close enough with that we're Facebook friends, too.

Just get yourself out there, anon. Be friendly and people will be friendly back.

All of this! I'm in Doctor Who fandom which has been in existence for almost 50 years, and I only got into the show 2 years ago. It's a massive fandom with people who've been in it literally their entire lives. But, you find your place, your little corner, and make friends within that. Some of the most well-known people in my circle of fandom friends are people who don't write fic and don't do fan art, but what they do do is really encourage others who do those things. They leave comments on fic, they help sponsor ficathons, they leave comments on fanart and vids and encourage the creators, they beta-read, the start memes, they do reaction/squee posts, they keep rec lists. The internet is an interactive venue (hence the name) so no one is going to see you off in the corner. On the internet, if you remain silent, you don't exist. Not because people are mean but because people literally can't see you unless you talk. And if you only talk a little, people aren't going to remember you name. It probably takes someone seeing your name out there ten or twenty times before it'll be remembered. Again, not because people are mean but just because there's a lot of names out there in fandom and no one remembers every single one they come across.

If I can join a fandom that's been around much longer than I've been alive, you can join a newish fandom that's already gotten off the ground. You just have to speak up and make yourself seen. What it takes is just remembering that you *do* have something to contribute. Everyone does.

Fourthing, fifthing, whatever this comment---

Socializing is a learned skill, like writing, or playing an instrument, or riding a bike. Some people are naturally talented at making friends (just like some musically inclined people can pick up a guitar and without any lessons start strumming chords). Making friends may not come easily to you--maybe you're a little shy, or introverted, or you feel awkward--but you can learn the skills if you practice. It's hard, it can suck, and it can be scary. You probably won't go from Lonely to Belle of the Ball overnight. But it does get much much easier the more you put yourself out there. There are many good, practical suggestions in the comments to this secret on how to put yourself out there. Unfortunately, it's one of those skills (like riding a bike) that you learn the "how" of as you're doing.

I speak from my own personal experience. :) Good luck, anon!

I know that feeling all too well. :( I really hope you find your place.

In the last fandom I was late to, I ended up being an active part of its second wave. You too can jumpstart a tired or sluggish fandom, so long as you bring something that you're passionate about (fic? art? news? ideas?) to the table! Show them what you can do! Don't wait for an invitation!

*hugs* I felt like this for a really long time, and it didn't really help that my main fandom kind of went kaput in 2005. But I happened upon a forum that consisted of a small number of existing fans... and I made some of the best online friends I've ever had, and felt like I finally found my niche. I hope you find that one day as well :)

This makes me really sad. We're all strangers at first. I'm an introvert irl, but I've found it's easier to talk to people on LJ just by putting myself out there a little. It's scary at first, but so worth the effort.

I will echo the commenters who've suggested friending memes. They really do work. Comment on people's posts, and make posts of your own. People *will* start to recognize your username and respond to you. It doesn't matter if the comm/fandom has existed for awhile. There are always people willing to discuss the source material ad nauseum :)

I really hope that you can take some of our advice and find your place soon.

I know exactly how you feel anon. You can be my friend :)

if you're looking for friends via fandom you're doing it wrong.

You seem to have a fractured sense of self-worth. You're frightened of being the 'New Guy'. Guess what? Everyone has had to wear that hat at one stage or another, even the BNFs. If you opened up a little, you'd be surprised at how much you all have in common. You are bigger and better than your fears.

I'm always open to made new friends althought my English is pretty bad, but if you some day "pass" for my journal and say hello I was glad ^^

I know how you feel, op. IRL I always find it hard to make new friends, so I end up being the one left out. So you aren't alone in that.
I wouldn't let it bother you half as much if you don't make a tonne of friends on the internet, but if it does all you have to do is post stuff on various comms; icons, fanfics, etc.

:)

Good luck. I also don't really know how to go about this. There seems to be some good advice in this thread, though.

Dude, I was 4+ years late to the SPN fandom, and I have been totally and awesomely welcomed by very cool people. You just have to find the right fandoms/people. ;)

OP, I used to feel like this, but it's not as hard or as bad as it seems.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #1078 ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject