Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2010-02-25 06:11 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2010-02-25 06:11 pm
[ SECRET POST #1147 ]
⌈ Secret Post #1147 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 065 secrets from Secret Submission Post #164.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
Six years ago I went off my antidepressants. The panic attacks had largely stopped(not completely, but I could control for triggers), and I had changed my life to be less stressful overall, which helped. But the main reason I stopped completely was because I got pregnant and I didn't want to expose my child to them.
Five years ago, when my Mum died when my baby was just under three months old, they talked about putting me back on them. I did go to counselling (and I'm lucky enough to live in Canada where the doctor's visits are free and so was the counselling and the meds were affordable), but I refused to go back onto the medication. Doubtless they would have helped, but I didn't absolutely need them.
And my main, heck, my only reason, was because while I retain the technical ability to write, while I'm on them I lose all inspiration.
All.
Heck, I didn't even dream.
My one real release, my one way of coping, would have been taken away from me. Yes, the meds might have helped me to function in my day-to-day life, but at the expense of a large part of what makes me me, and... well, the best way I can put it to say imagine having a broken leg. You have a cast so you can get by, but not easily. What you really need is a cane or crutches. And you can get them, and they will help you walk-- but the design is such that you won't be able to sit down or lie down to rest. The crutch will support you, but at the cost of having to stay on the crutch, if that makes sense. And I found it worth finding it harder to gimp around without the crutches if it meant that I could lie down sometimes.
If you need them, then do use them. Permit yourself that temporary crutch if the alternative is worse. But as my therapist said when I refused the medication, having that outlet (in our case, fanfic) is a valuable thing, too.
Good luck with it all! :D There is hope: I've been off the meds for six years now and while it was rough, especially when Mum died, it got easier. Things are pretty good now.
Good luck!!