[ SECRET POST #1148 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1148 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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142.
[Zachary Quinto]


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[Stargate SG-1]


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[Farmville]


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[Blazblue: Calamity Trigger]


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[Death Note]


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153.
[John Barrowman]


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154.
[AKA: Lies are like wishes]


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155. [SPOILERS for Lost]



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156. [SPOILERS for Dr Who]



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157. [SPOILERS for One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest]



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158. [SPOILERS for Glass Feet]



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159. [SPOILERS for One Piece]



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160. [SPOILERS for Mass Effect]








Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #164.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - ships it ], [ 1 - would hit it ], [ 1 - take it to comments ], [ 1 - personal attack ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Really? Selfish is defined as "characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself." You really don't think that's a bad thing? Are you Ayn Rand, or something?

[(Anonymous)]

She might be someone who has mastered the ability of sarcasm.

[(Anonymous)]

Hey, this is fandom secrets, you never know what kind of horrible shit people are going to say.

[(Anonymous)]

aaaaaah is a regular commenter who usually comments with sane things.

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, I don't keep track of usernames. Sorry if I've offended either you, or aaaaah.

[ferricent.livejournal.com]

If not for that little hula girl icon, she(?)'d be a brand new face for me.

[iiiskaaa.livejournal.com]

I wasn't being sarcastic, but "selfish" is a really loaded term in my experience. Growing up, I was being "selfish" if I objected to someone changing the channel when I was watching TV or if I wanted to talk to a friend on the phone for ten minutes when no one else needed it. I'm "selfish" for wanting to spend my free time and my money on myself. I'm "selfish" because I'm child-free. All of this and more.

So yeah, I put myself first, I'm "selfish." I don't have a problem with that.

[soymade.livejournal.com]

IMO you have a distorted view of the meaning of that term. Being selfish is not the same as making your own wants and needs a legitimate priority. Everyone should do the latter.

[ferricent.livejournal.com]

With soymade on this one.

[iiiskaaa.livejournal.com]

You might want to read the comment I made to soymade.

[iiiskaaa.livejournal.com]

That's just the way a lot of people use the word - with a weaker force than what is implied by its dictionary definition. Maybe I didn't make it clear enough, but those were all actual examples of things that other people have called me selfish for. I wouldn't have used the scare quotes if I thought they were good examples of selfish behavior.

What I was trying to get across is just that most of the time when people are called "selfish," they're really not, in the full sense of the word (and I assume this is the case with the OP). They're just making themselves a priority, and there's nothing wrong with that, but many people will, in fact, interpret a person acting this way as acting selfishly, and tell that person so.

And I've seen exactly this happening in fandom. I've seen it happening on this comm - do you remember the (troll?) secret from a couple of months ago shaming everyone who buys fandom merchandise instead of donating the money to charity? And the one from a couple of months before about how everyone who enjoys art, literature, or music is a terrible person because we shouldn't waste our time and money on something so frivolous when there are children starving in Africa, basically?

I sympathize with the OP of this secret in that, faced with that sort of attitude, my knee-jerk reaction is just to think, "Yeah, okay, I'm really ~selfish~ LOL."

copying. pasting.

[ferricent.livejournal.com]

"What I was trying to get across is just that most of the time when people are called "selfish," they're really not, in the full sense of the word (and I assume this is the case with the OP). They're just making themselves a priority, and there's nothing wrong with that, but many people will, in fact, interpret a person acting this way as acting selfishly, and tell that person so."

This is totally legit, but if you'd really meant to express the whole of this in this comment (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomsecrets/442144.html?thread=258228512#t258228512) then I guess I missed some nuances, or something.

Re: copying. pasting.

[iiiskaaa.livejournal.com]

The comment you copy-pasted from was meant to expand on the comment soymade replied to, not directly on my original comment. All I meant by my original comment was that I don't see why being selfish is seen as such a bad thing. I don't think the two statements are inconsistent, assuming (as I always do when I use words implying value judgments - selfish, generous, good, bad, whatever) that the quality of "selfishness" exists on a spectrum, and that most of the time when the word is used, the intended force falls somewhere short of the extreme.

Doing something like grabbing the last beer from the case when you know someone else wants it too is selfish in some sense, though not in the full sense of the word. To use an example I remember using in one of the posts I mentioned in my last comment to soymade, the fact I bought an almost $200 pair of rain boots instead of a buying a cheaper pair and donating the rest of the money to Save the Puppies was selfish in some sense. And in a sense, it wasn't. But *insofar as it can be construed as selfish, I don't see what's wrong with it.*

Does that help?

(html failed 1st time, sry)

[ferricent.livejournal.com]

"I don't think the two statements are inconsistent, assuming ... that most of the time when [selfish] is used, the intended force falls somewhere short of the extreme."

If this is the case then I am still with soymade's saying this (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomsecrets/442144.html?thread=258403616#t258403616").

[soymade.livejournal.com]

Ah. I understood that those were examples of things you'd been called selfish for; I just misunderstood that you knew it was a misapplication of the term. Otherwise I believe we are in agreement! Hehe.

[iiiskaaa.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's a bad thing to place one's own welfare or advantage above others', no.

[(Anonymous)]

This is an okay thing to think, but only if you're female because then you're fighting the patriarchy and the expectations of feminine virtue and graciousness that have been placed on you.

[iiiskaaa.livejournal.com]

... okay. To be honest, I'm not really sure how to respond to this.

[alouette-sparra.livejournal.com]

....WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN.

[(Anonymous)]

What's not to get?

[(Anonymous)]

How about the fact that it's only okay to look out for your interests first if you're a woman? And only because it's "feminist".

Although I'm not the person you're replying to, so maybe there was something else they weren't getting.

[(Anonymous)]

My bet is troll. There's a couple who like to use pseudo-feminist (or whatever) diatribes, hoping that someone will agree with them, which will prove OMG PC NAZIS!!

[(Anonymous)]

It makes sense to me. Why is it empowering for women to read and write porn, but degrading for men to do the same? Context and history. Women's sexualities have been shamed, and they are embracing them by enjoying porn. But men's sexualities haven't had the same shameful stigma attached to them, and their exercising of it ties directly into objectifying women for men's pleasure. So it's not okay.

Women's autonomy and individual desires have been shamed and stigmatized throughout history, but men's have been lauded. So it follows that it's okay for women to be selfish and place their needs above others', but it's not for men. History and context.

[(Anonymous)]

Why is it empowering for women to read and write porn, but degrading for men to do the same?

Uh. Wait. What? No.

Porn that objectifies women is degrading irrespective of the gender of the people who create and enjoy it, although it is quite a bit more skeevy when only men are involved in the creation and enjoyment. Porn that does not objectify women isn't degrading, even if it is created and enjoyed by men.

It really is possible for men to write porn that does not objectify (or sometimes even involve) women at all. It is also possible for men to read and enjoy porn that has nothing to do with treating women solely as lust objects.

[dethtoll.livejournal.com]

"they see me trollin'
they hatin'
tryin' to catch me writin' dirty, i'm writin' dirty"