case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2010-02-26 05:16 pm

[ SECRET POST #1148 ]


⌈ Secret Post #1148 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Zachary Quinto]


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[Stargate SG-1]


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[Blazblue: Calamity Trigger]


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[AKA: Lies are like wishes]


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155. [SPOILERS for Lost]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #164.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - ships it ], [ 1 - would hit it ], [ 1 - take it to comments ], [ 1 - personal attack ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: My problem with minority activists

(Anonymous) 2010-02-27 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
You know what's really fun? Having to disclose all your abuse survivor credentials all the time, or being accused of being an abuse apologist. Having neutral statements like "children with neurological differences are more likely to be abused" labeled as "blaming the victim"when discussing your own experience. Having to get your hall pass stamped for abuse, disability, and ethnicity before your comments on those subjects are taken seriously. In short, being abused and triggered by people who apparently have way more "spoons" than you'll ever get. That's what fun.

Re: My problem with minority activists

(Anonymous) 2010-02-27 12:50 am (UTC)(link)
I bet lots of people don't even believe you when you explain it, do they?

Re: My problem with minority activists

(Anonymous) 2010-02-27 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
I've given up on it, I just walk the hell away. One of my first online friends ended up suiciding because her (documented, abuser jailed) childhood abuse didn't lead her to be the person others in an online support group thought that a real abuse survivor should be. It's not worth using the facts because they blow up in your face if you aren't able to control the way you've been harmed by them.

Re: My problem with minority activists

(Anonymous) 2010-02-27 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
It's not worth using the facts because they blow up in your face if you aren't able to control the way you've been harmed by them.

I just wanted to stop and say thank you, because I really needed to be reminded of this right now. I am going to go be somewhere other than in front of the computer for a bit.

Seriously, thank you.

Re: My problem with minority activists

[identity profile] fierceawakening.livejournal.com 2010-02-27 03:35 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, this. I was once told (by someone who since apologized, but) that I must not have PTSD because I dared say that I think sometimes the word/concept of "trigger" gets co-opted from our actual experience to make political points.

It's tiring when people act as though certain types of experience are badges of identity regardless of your own feelings about it, and those badges are taken to come with a whole passel of opinions, positions in debates, and alliances that you may or may not have any interest in.

Re: My problem with minority activists

(Anonymous) 2010-02-27 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
I've worked long and hard to be able to stay alive in a world where my rapist's other victims also live and are witnesses to my abuse, as I was to theirs. That those other victims also abused me, and controlled me by threatening to expose what I had done (when all of us were pre-pubertal) did a serious job on my head, and it's taken a hard course of learning to forgive to be able not to have that abuse rule my life. Having learned that, I find it difficult to raise my voice for blood vengence on people who did less horrible things, and did not do them to me nor to other very young children within my sight. Therefore, I am an enabler. Or something.

Re: My problem with minority activists

[identity profile] fierceawakening.livejournal.com 2010-02-27 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
*nods* I can't even begin to imagine what you've been through. But I have seen people who don't choose to forgive those who've abused them really look down on those who do, and I don't understand it. I don't think I can forgive the woman who abused me as a child, and I don't feel I "have to" or "should." But that's my own way of dealing with what happened to me. If someone else feels the best thing to do is forgive... that's that person's business. I've never understood the nonsense that goes like "well, I'm indignant, and if you're not or you want not to be you have no self-respect" or its inverse-yet-corrolary "Well, I forgave my abuser, so you just need to go through a painful process that will make you feel differently toward yours." Um, hello, people are different and have different responses to trauma?

Re: My problem with minority activists

(Anonymous) 2010-02-27 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
I haven't so much forgiven the adults (married couple) as outlived them, which is even better- but the other kids (their two daughters and son, who had to be there all the time? If I can't forgive them, I can't forgive myself. And not forgiving your six-to-nine-year-old-self for being victimized is a hell of a way to live.