fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1158 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1158 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 16 pages, 377 secrets from Secret Submission Post #166.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, I'm sure the same goes for Time Lords if you find a large enough microwave. : /

Possibly, but isn't there a Twilight fic where Edward sort of... cooks himself to make the sex more pleasant for Bella. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.

AND DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THIS.

...

...

...

Out of cheese error. Redo from start.

...

...

...

HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? SRSLY, I'M DEMANDING ANSWERS, OPAL.

*GRINS*

Her heart pounded faster.

“You’re … you’re warm.”

I nodded.

“H – how?”

“Magic.”

“How?”

I smiled. “Sous-vide.”

“Sue-what?”

“Sous-vide.” While I spoke I kept warming her hand in mine because, for once, I could. “You remember all the cooking shows I watched before I made you dinner on prom night?”

“Yeah …” she said slowly.

I wrapped my other hand around the nape of her neck, feeling her exhale in response to the heat.

“I learned about sous-vide on one of them. Sous-vide is a way of preparing meat.” The hand on her neck traveled down to her breast and settled there over her tee shirt; I watched her eyes close. “You put it in an airtight plastic bag and give it a slow hot water bath to cook it.” I grinned again. “It’s French.”

Bella’s eyes flew open and blinked as my words finally sank in. “You … you cooked yourself?”

“Yes,” I replied, opening her fingers and pressing her hand to my hot chest. “Yes, I did. Want a taste?”

And I honestly cannot remember where I first heard about it. All I can say is, Kali is not the only one who finds and shares such things.

I hate you.

That's what happens when you demand answers.

WOE.

*SMOOCH*

I think you should know that when I read this comment I full on cackled.

Well what's the point in half-assing a good cackle? Go big or go home, I always say.

Well my landlady and my housemates are all in bed asleep, so I'm trying not to wake them. But there was some proper, evil steepling of the fingers going on.

I'm not talking to you. Not until you stop brandishing sparkly boiled wang around!

XD

I think there needs to be a gif of that.

So he put himself in an airtight plastic bag and cooked himself slowly in hot water French style? And he's very, very proud of this?

He could have just HAD. A. BATH. I'm just saying.

BWAH. ILU.

O_O mte

O.O

I love you for quoting Discworld. I must have your snotlings. NOW.

XD Seemed very appropriate.

*Does not want an explodey Time Lord.*

Or has that been an urban legend all along?

Just make sure he has no metal on him.

[ SECRET POST #1158 ]

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