fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1225 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1225 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: ?? pages, ??? secrets from Secret Submission Post #175.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

104. I somewhat agree. I wish it had gone on for another season or two, though. But yes, you're right - even in the few episodes that it did have there were glaring race and gender issues that could threaten to overwhelm the excellent writing and loveable characters if it had continued.

107. If Soap and Ghost had to save the world in that car, they would do it. (YES CALL OF DUTY SECRET!!!!!) They're that badass. Think of it as the only car you could dive into under a hail of gunfire, and how it's going to be that much more awesome when you outrun ATVs and air support to deliver vital intelligence that wins the war.

Also, I love that soundtrack too. "Loose Ends" makes me baw, and "End Credits" gets me pumped up every time.

120. Don't worry. You'll probably cause less of a stir than you think. I, personally, am suspicious of anyone who claims to be male in slash fandom (not that I don't think they exist, but rather I'll have reasonable doubts until I meet them in person) because this phenomenon is so common. I know plenty of other slash fans who feel the same.

144. (Man I'm such a ray of sunshine today.) Don't worry, OP. The infatuation phase will pass in time. And you'll become the shoulder to cry on, or the one they vent to about the other when they start to fight. Then you'll have more of them than you could possibly want.

Edited 2010-05-12 01:03 (UTC)

Re 120: which "phenomenon" are you referring to?

exactly

120) I don't know. A person in my fandom was found to be female after asserting he was a gay guy for a while. He had a TON better reason, being that he was F to M, but he still lost huge amounts of credibility because the extent to which he'd lied about everything else from his personal life to his pictures. He lost total credibility. Another person also outed herself and she was driven from the fandom. Admittedly she had other problems with being a compulsive liar and a plagiarist.

I suppose if the OP only lied about her gender and didn't try to shore it up with personal anecdotes or ever use her gay maleness to confirm some point about guys or gays, she might be fine, but I wouldn't assure her that it will blow over, because it might not. The best way to deal with it is to drift away, stop using that account, make a new one and be honest. Clean start.

That's what I was afraid of. I don't wanna lose all my fandom friends, though :(

you don't deserve your fandom friends

Yeah. I know.

Here's the thing. I don't know how much you've been lying to maintain this identity. If it barely came up as a subject, you said you were a gay guy maybe once and that was that, you might get away with telling your friends. But you still might lose them. If you've been lying a lot, for example saying things like "as a man, I can tell you... blah blah blah" or anything else where people would have treated you differently because you were a man -- then you got a problem, because basically you've been lying to your friends and manipulating them.

Because, here's the thing, slash fangirls do treat the gay males in fandom preferentially. They worry about your opinions more, they listen to them more. You are deemed an automatic expert in both gayness and maleness having "lived the life", and therefore your opinions on both are held in higher regard because they represent reality. They also worry more about offending you, since while gay men are their fetish, they don't want to seem disrespectful or objectifying. And then there is just the thrill of knowing someone who lives your fantasy life -- that gives you a bit of a celebritydom.

All those who once gave you preferential treatment you can pretty much cross off your f-list if you reveal yourself. They will consider themselves used by you. Snookered. Played with. Trolled. If you have anyone on your F-list who made it a point of pride that they didn't care what gender you were -- you may keep them. Though if you've been lying about your personal life, they will use that as an excuse to dump you.

You know, it sucks, but you dug this yourself by lying. This is why LURK MOAR is such good advice. Go reinvent yourself as a woman. Let this sock die. The nice thing about fandom is that it's ephemeral. Most of your fandom friends would have left you and moved on to other interests eventually anyway.

107 = EPIC WIN. And I wish I had the soundtrack. That is all.

I, personally, am suspicious of anyone who claims to be male in slash fandom (not that I don't think they exist, but rather I'll have reasonable doubts until I meet them in person) because this phenomenon is so common. I know plenty of other slash fans who feel the same.

*eyerolls* Yeah, because gender matters that fucking much online.

You're right - it doesn't. Which is why I'm content to disregard the gender of my online friends entirely until I meet them in person ;3

"Disregard" would be cool. But you didn't originally say "disregard," you said, "am suspicious of." Hence my comment.

Honestly, "suspicion" seems over the top to me for something which is relatively inconsequential when you're only communicating by text and lj icons.

...I think you're reading entirely too much into that word. "Suspicion" as in "raise an eyebrow, reserve a modicum of doubt", not suspicion as in "keeps me awake at night, writhing in paranoia over whether or not my LJ friends have the genitalia they claim to have".

If that is over the top then, alas, I am probably not as cool as you would like me to be. I'll live, somehow.

Yeah, I think it's over the top. But then, I really can't be arsed to bother doubting the stated genders of my friends, as I don't really care whether they're "lying" or not.

[ SECRET POST #1225 ]

104, 107 (!!!!!), 120, 144

Re: 104, 107 (!!!!!), 120, 144

104

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120OP

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Re: 104, 107 (!!!!!), 120, 144

Re: 104, 107 (!!!!!), 120, 144

Re: 104, 107 (!!!!!), 120, 144

Re: 104, 107 (!!!!!), 120, 144

Re: 104, 107 (!!!!!), 120, 144

Re: 104, 107 (!!!!!), 120, 144